f a most daring and clever gang of thieves." It is said that he
has asked counsel for permission to use this excellent testimonial on
his note-headings.

***

An Irish farmer aged one hundred-and-four years, who took a prominent
part in the General Election, has just died. This should be a lesson
to people who meddle with politics.

***

"The current open secret in Society," says _The Star_, "is the
engagement of Lady DIANA MANNERS, but when it will be announced only
she herself will decide." This is extraordinary. A few weeks ago the
decision would have rested with the newspapers.

***

There were 523 fewer books published last year than in the year
before. This, we understand, is explained by the fact that Mr. CHARLES
GARVICE and Mr. E. PHILLIPS OPPENHEIM each went to the theatre one
night in the early autumn.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "I WISH MY HUSBAND HAD JOINED THEM PIVOTS INSTEAD OF
THE FOOSILEERS. HE'D 'A' BEEN DEMOBILISED BY NOW."]

* * * * *

REGULUS UP-TO-DATE.

"Traveller.--Wanted a pushing young man, to work through England
and Scotland in barrel hoops."--_Daily Telegraph._

* * * * *

"To these manifestations the President raised his hat, his smiling
face indicating the measure of his pleasure at the leave-taking
with the British public."--_Daily Paper._

One of the things that might perhaps have been expressed differently.

* * * * *

REDISTRIBUTION.

The Bolshevist plan to conciliate Labour
Is based on the maxim of Beggar your Neighbour,
With the glorious result, when they share out the loot,
That ev'ry one's sure of possessing _one_ boot.

* * * * *

THE RHYME OF THE "RIO GRANDE."

By Salthouse Dock as I did pass one day not long ago,
I chanced to meet a sailorman that once I used to know;
His eye it had a roving gleam, his step was light and gay,
He looked like one just in from sea to blow a nine months' pay;
And as he passed athwart my hawse he hailed me long and loud:
"Oh, find me now a full saloon where I may stand the crowd;
I'm out to rouse the town this night as any man may be
That's just come off a salvage job, my lad, the same as me....

"Bringin' home the _Rio Grande_, her as used to be
_Crack o' Moore_, Mackellar's Line, back in ninety-th