tion of the questions she had raised--grave though they
were--to a calmer period. For now he was unable to separate her, to
eliminate the emotion--he was forced to acknowledge--the thought of her
aroused, from the problems themselves. Who was she? At moments he seemed
to see her shining, accusing, as Truth herself, and again as a Circe
who had drawn him by subtle arts from his wanderings, luring him to his
death; or, at other times, as the mutinous daughter of revolt. But when
he felt, in memory, the warm touch of her hand, the old wildness of his
nature responded, he ceased to speculate or care, and he longed only to
crush and subdue her by the brute power of the man in him. For good or
bad, she had woven her spell.
Here was the old, elemental, twofold contest, carnal and spiritual,
thoroughly revived!...
He recalled, in his musings, the little theological school surrounded
by southern woods and fields, where he had sometime walked under autumn
foliage with the elderly gentleman who had had such an influence on
his life--the dean. Mild-mannered and frail, patient in ordinary
converse,--a lion for the faith. He would have died for it as cheerfully
as any martyr in history. By the marvels of that faith Holder had
beheld, from his pew in the chapel, the little man transformed. He knew
young men, their perplexities and temptations, and he dealt with them
personally, like a father. Holder's doubts were stilled, he had gained
power of his temptations and peace for his soul, and he had gone forth
inspired by the reminder that there was no student of whom the dean
expected better things. Where now were the thousands of which he had
dreamed, and which he was to have brought into the Church?...
Now, he asked himself, was it the dean, or the dean's theology through
which his regeneration had come? Might not the inherent goodness of the
dean be one thing, and his theology quite another? Personality again!
He recalled one of the many things which Alison Parr had branded on his
memory,--"the belief, the authority in which the man is clothed, and
not the man!" The dean's God had remained silent on the subject of
personality. Or, at the best, he had not encouraged it; and there
were--Hodder could not but perceive--certain contradictions in his
character, which were an anomalistic blending of that of the jealous God
of Moses and of the God of Christ. There must be continuity--God could
not change. Therefore the God of infinite lov
|