that I should be surrounded by a certain number of deserving poor. I had
hoped to find in this charming neighbourhood of yours the customary
proportion of poverty and misery, in which case I should have taken the
house without hesitation. As it is, I must seek elsewhere.'

"My cousin was perplexed, and sad. 'There are plenty of poor people in
the town,' he said, 'many of them most interesting cases, and you could
have the entire care of them all. There'd be no opposition whatever, I'm
positive.'

"'Thank you,' replied the lady, 'but I really couldn't go as far as the
town. They must be within easy driving distance or they are no good.'

"My cousin cudgelled his brains again. He did not intend to let a
purchaser slip through his fingers if he could help it. At last a bright
thought flashed into his mind. 'I'll tell you what we could do,' he
said. 'There's a piece of waste land the other end of the village that
we've never been able to do much with, in consequence of its being so
swampy. If you liked, we could run you up a dozen cottages on that,
cheap--it would be all the better their being a bit ramshackle and
unhealthy--and get some poor people for you, and put into them.'

"The lady reflected upon the idea, and it struck her as a good one.

"'You see,' continued my cousin, pushing his advantage, 'by adopting this
method you would be able to select your own poor. We would get you some
nice, clean, grateful poor, and make the thing pleasant for you.'

"It ended in the lady's accepting my cousin's offer, and giving him a
list of the poor people she would like to have. She selected one
bedridden old woman (Church of England preferred); one paralytic old man;
one blind girl who would want to be read aloud to; one poor atheist,
willing to be converted; two cripples; one drunken father who would
consent to be talked to seriously; one disagreeable old fellow, needing
much patience; two large families, and four ordinary assorted couples.

"My cousin experienced some difficulty in securing the drunken father.
Most of the drunken fathers he interviewed upon the subject had a rooted
objection to being talked to at all. After a long search, however, he
discovered a mild little man, who, upon the lady's requirements and
charitable intentions being explained to him, undertook to qualify
himself for the vacancy by getting intoxicated at least once a week. He
said he could not promise more than once a week at first