, he
unfortunately possessing a strong natural distaste for all alcoholic
liquors, which it would be necessary for him to overcome. As he got more
used to them, he would do better.

"Over the disagreeable old man, my cousin also had trouble. It was hard
to hit the right degree of disagreeableness. Some of them were so very
unpleasant. He eventually made choice of a decayed cab-driver with
advanced Radical opinions, who insisted on a three years' contract.

"The plan worked exceedingly well, and does so, my cousin tells me, to
this day. The drunken father has completely conquered his dislike to
strong drink. He has not been sober now for over three weeks, and has
lately taken to knocking his wife about. The disagreeable fellow is most
conscientious in fulfilling his part of the bargain, and makes himself a
perfect curse to the whole village. The others have dropped into their
respective positions and are working well. The lady visits them all
every afternoon, and is most charitable. They call her Lady Bountiful,
and everybody blesses her."

Brown rose as he finished speaking, and mixed himself a glass of whisky
and water with the self-satisfied air of a benevolent man about to reward
somebody for having done a good deed; and MacShaughnassy lifted up his
voice and talked.

"I know a story bearing on the subject, too," he said. "It happened in a
tiny Yorkshire village--a peaceful, respectable spot, where folks found
life a bit slow. One day, however, a new curate arrived, and that woke
things up considerably. He was a nice young man, and, having a large
private income of his own, was altogether a most desirable catch. Every
unmarried female in the place went for him with one accord.

"But ordinary feminine blandishments appeared to have no effect upon him.
He was a seriously inclined young man, and once, in the course of a
casual conversation upon the subject of love, he was heard to say that he
himself should never be attracted by mere beauty and charm. What would
appeal to him, he said, would be a woman's goodness--her charity and
kindliness to the poor.

"Well, that set the petticoats all thinking. They saw that in studying
fashion plates and practising expressions they had been going upon the
wrong tack. The card for them to play was 'the poor.' But here a
serious difficulty arose. There was only one poor person in the whole
parish, a cantankerous old fellow who lived in a tumble-down cottage a