ey serve Lipton's, and if they say yes, we take
coffee. This is self-punishment indeed (in London!), yet we feel that
it may have a moral effect; perhaps not commensurate with the physical
effect of the coffee upon us, but these delicate matters can never be
adjusted with absolute exactitude.

Sometimes when we are to travel on a Pears' Soap 'bus we buy beforehand
a bit of pure white Castile, cut from a shrinking, reserved, exclusive
bar with no name upon it, and present it to some poor woman when we
arrive at our journey's end. We do not suppose that so insignificant a
protest does much good, but at least it preserves one's individuality
and self-respect.

Chapter IX. A Table of Kindred and Affinity.

On one of our excursions Hilda Mellifica accompanied us, and we alighted
to see the place where the Smithfield martyrs were executed, and to
visit some of the very old churches in that vicinity. We found hanging
in the vestibule of one of them something quite familiar to Hilda, but
very strange to our American eyes: 'A Table of Kindred and Affinity,
wherein whosoever are related are forbidden in Scripture and our Laws to
Marry Together.'

Salemina was very quiet that afternoon, and we accused her afterwards of
being depressed because she had discovered that, added to the battalions
of men in England who had not thus far urged her to marry them, there
were thirty persons whom she could not legally espouse even if they did
ask her!

I cannot explain it, but it really seemed in some way that our chances
of a 'sweet, safe corner of the household fire' had materially decreased
when we had read the table.

"It only goes to prove what Salemina remarked yesterday," I said: "that
we can go on doing a thing quite properly until we have seen the rule
for it printed in black and white. The moment we read the formula we
fail to see how we could ever have followed it; we are confused by its
complexities, and we do not feel the slightest confidence in our ability
to do consciously the thing we have done all our lives unconsciously."

"Like the centipede," quoted Salemina:--

"'The centipede was happy quite
Until the toad, for fun,
Said, "Pray, which leg goes after which?"
Which wrought his mind to such a pitch,
He lay distracted in a ditch
Considering how to run!'"

"The Table of Kindred and Affinity is all too familiar to me," sighed
Hilda, "because we had a governess who mad