few hundred stupid souls
to the wrong station daily than to allow them to cleanse their hands
with the wrong soap, or quench their thirst with the wrong (which is to
say the unadvertised) beverage.

The conductors do all in their power to mitigate the lot of unhappy
strangers, and it is only now and again that you hear an absent-minded
or logical one call out, 'Castoria! all the w'y for a penny.'

We claim for our method of travelling, not that it is authoritative, but
that it is simple--suitable to persons whose desires are flexible and
whose plans are not fixed. It has its disadvantages, which may indeed
be said of almost anything. For instance, we had gone for two successive
mornings on a Cadbury's Cocoa 'bus to Francesca's dressmaker in
Kensington. On the third morning, deceived by the ambitious and
unscrupulous Cadbury, we mounted it and journeyed along comfortably
three miles to the east of Kensington before we discovered our mistake.
It was a pleasant and attractive neighbourhood where we found ourselves,
but unfortunately Francesca's dressmaker did not reside there.

If you have determined to take a certain train from a certain station,
and do not care for any other, no matter if it should turn out to be
just as interesting, then never take a Lipton's Tea 'bus, for it is the
most unreliable of all. If it did not sound so learned, and if I did not
feel that it must have been said before, it is so apt, I should quote
Horace, and say, 'Omnibus hoc vitium est.' There is no 'bus unseized by
the Napoleonic Lipton. Do not ascend one of them supposing for a moment
that by paying fourpence and going to the very end of the route you will
come to a neat tea station, where you will be served with the cheering
cup. Never; nor with a draught of Cadbury's cocoa or Nestle's milk,
although you have jostled along for nine weary miles in company with
their blatant recommendations to drink nothing else, and though you may
have passed other 'buses with the same highly-coloured names glaring at
you until they are burned into the grey matter of your brain, to remain
there as long as the copy-book maxims you penned when you were a child.

These pictorial methods doubtless prove a source of great financial
gain; of course it must be so, or they would never be prosecuted; but
although they may allure millions of customers, they will lose two in
our modest persons. When Salemina and I go into a cafe for tea we ask
the young woman if th