d been sacrificed to the ignorance of the peasantry.

'SECTION D.--STATISTICS.
OUT-HOUSE, BLACK BOY AND STOMACH-ACHE.

_President_--Mr. Slug. _Vice-Presidents_--Messrs. Noakes and Styles.

'MR. KWAKLEY stated the result of some most ingenious statistical
inquiries relative to the difference between the value of the
qualification of several members of Parliament as published to the world,
and its real nature and amount. After reminding the section that every
member of Parliament for a town or borough was supposed to possess a
clear freehold estate of three hundred pounds per annum, the honourable
gentleman excited great amusement and laughter by stating the exact
amount of freehold property possessed by a column of legislators, in
which he had included himself. It appeared from this table, that the
amount of such income possessed by each was 0 pounds, 0 shillings, and 0
pence, yielding an average of the same. (Great laughter.) It was pretty
well known that there were accommodating gentlemen in the habit of
furnishing new members with temporary qualifications, to the ownership of
which they swore solemnly--of course as a mere matter of form. He argued
from these _data_ that it was wholly unnecessary for members of
Parliament to possess any property at all, especially as when they had
none the public could get them so much cheaper.

'SUPPLEMENTARY SECTION, E.--UMBUGOLOGY AND DITCHWATERISICS.

_President_--Mr. Grub. _Vice Presidents_--Messrs. Dull and Dummy.

'A paper was read by the secretary descriptive of a bay pony with one
eye, which had been seen by the author standing in a butcher's cart at
the corner of Newgate Market. The communication described the author of
the paper as having, in the prosecution of a mercantile pursuit, betaken
himself one Saturday morning last summer from Somers Town to Cheapside;
in the course of which expedition he had beheld the extraordinary
appearance above described. The pony had one distinct eye, and it had
been pointed out to him by his friend Captain Blunderbore, of the Horse
Marines, who assisted the author in his search, that whenever he winked
this eye he whisked his tail (possibly to drive the flies off), but that
he always winked and whisked at the same time. The animal was lean,
spavined, and tottering; and the author proposed to constitute it of the
family of _Fitfordogsmeataurious_. It certainly did occur to him that
there was no case on record of a pony