"

All that's written on the inside of the binding of the book; so, as my
son says, we're _bound_ to believe it.'

'Well, sir,' observed the undertaker, deferentially, and in a
half-whisper, leaning over the table, and knocking over the hairdresser's
grog as he spoke, 'that argument's very easy upset.'

'Perhaps, sir,' said Clip, a little flurried, 'you'll pay for the first
upset afore you thinks of another.'

'Now,' said the undertaker, bowing amicably to the hairdresser, 'I
_think_, I says I _think_--you'll excuse me, Mr. Clip, I _think_, you
see, that won't go down with the present company--unfortunately, my
master had the honour of making the coffin of that ere Lord's housemaid,
not no more nor twenty year ago. Don't think I'm proud on it, gentlemen;
others might be; but I hate rank of any sort. I've no more respect for a
Lord's footman than I have for any respectable tradesman in this room. I
may say no more nor I have for Mr. Clip! (bowing). Therefore, that ere
Lord must have been born long after Pope died. And it's a logical
interference to defer, that they neither of them lived at the same time.
So what I mean is this here, that Pope never had no book, never seed,
felt, never smelt no book (triumphantly) as belonged to that ere Lord.
And, gentlemen, when I consider how patiently you have 'eared the ideas
what I have expressed, I feel bound, as the best way to reward you for
the kindness you have exhibited, to sit down without saying anything
more--partickler as I perceive a worthier visitor nor myself is just
entered. I am not in the habit of paying compliments, gentlemen; when I
do, therefore, I hope I strikes with double force.'

'Ah, Mr. Murgatroyd! what's all this about striking with double force?'
said the object of the above remark, as he entered. 'I never excuse a
man's getting into a rage during winter, even when he's seated so close
to the fire as you are. It is very injudicious to put yourself into such
a perspiration. What is the cause of this extreme physical and mental
excitement, sir?'

Such was the very philosophical address of Mr. Robert Bolton, a
shorthand-writer, as he termed himself--a bit of equivoque passing
current among his fraternity, which must give the uninitiated a vast idea
of the establishment of the ministerial organ, while to the initiated it
signifies that no one paper can lay claim to the enjoyment of their
services. Mr. Bolton was a young man, with a somewhat sic