A SPAT AT THE MUSEUM.

"You are a fraud," cried the Fat Man to the Living Skeleton. "I can see
through you."

"Of course you can," retorted the Living Skeleton. "That merely proves
what a living skeleton I am."

HE WAS WONDERING.

"Mamma," said little Willie the other day, "don't some people think that
when folks die they turn into animals and birds?"

"I believe so, Willie," replied his mother; "but why do you ask that
question?"

"Only," said Willie, "because I was wondering if all the negroes turn
into chicken-hawks."

CHOP LOGIC.

TILLIE. "A man who keeps a bakery is a baker, isn't he?"

BILLY. "Of course. And a man who keeps cellery is a seller, but a man
who keeps a buttery isn't a _butter_, is he?"

TOMMY'S NOSE.

TOMMY. "Papa, I wish you would buy me a set of boxing-gloves."

PAPA. "I'll do no such thing. Do you want to get your nose broken?"

TOMMY. "No; I only want to learn how to keep it from getting broken."

DREAMS.

MABEL. "Don't dreams always go by contraries?"

MAMMA. "I have heard so."

MABEL. "Well, last night I dreamed that I asked you for a piece of cake,
and you wouldn't give it to me."

THE VENDER'S HORSE.

When little Rupert saw a vender's horse whose ribs were plainly visible
the other day, he said to his nurse:

"Oh, Ellen, just look at the horse with corduroy skin!"

HIS OBJECTION.

"I simply wish we'd never had any American Revolution," sighed Tommy,
after school the other day. "It's made my life miserable."

"How so?" asked his uncle.

"So many more history dates to remember," said Tom.

LIKE THE REST.

"Ah, Jack, I hear you go to kindergarten."

"Yes."

"What do you do there?"

"Oh--we make things."

"Indeed? And what do you make chiefly?"

"Noise," said Jack.

[Illustration: HE KNEW.]

TEACHER. "NOW WHICH OF YOU BOYS CAN TELL ME WHAT SEA WATER CONTAINS
BESIDES THE SODIUM CHLORIDE JUST MENTIONED?"

TOMMY TATTERS. "MCGINTY!"

End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Harper's Round Table, September 17,
1895, by Various

*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HARPER'S ROUND TABLE ***

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