I looked round me to see if it were not
some horrid dream, and the whole events but the frightful deception of a
sleeping fancy. But bit by bit the entire truth broke upon me; the
full tide of sorrow rushed in upon my heart. The letter I could not
comprehend further than that some deep affliction had been recalled
by my late adventure. But then, the words of the hag--the brief,
half-uttered intimations of the priest--came to my memory. 'Her mother,'
said I--'what of her mother?' I remembered Louisa had never mentioned
or even alluded to her; and now a thousand suspicions crossed my mind,
which all gave way before my own sense of bereavement and the desolation
and desertion I felt, in my own heart. I threw myself upon the ground
where she walked so often beside me, and burst into tears. But a few
brief hours, and how surrounded by visions of happiness and lovet Now,
bereft of everything, what charm had life for me! How valueless, how
worthless did all seem! The evening sun I loved to gaze on, the bright
flowers, the waving grass, the low murmur of the breaking surf that
stole like music over the happy sense, were now but gloomy things or
discordant sounds. The very high and holy thoughts that used to stir
within me were changed to fierce and wrathful passions or the low
drooping of despair. It was night, still and starry night, when I arose
and wended my way towards the priest's cottage.

CHAPTER XL. THE PRIEST'S KITCHEN

The candles were burning brightly, and the cheerful bog-fire was blazing
on the hearth, as I drew near the window of the priest's cottage; but
yet there was no one in the room. The little tea-kettle was hissing on
the hob, and the room had all that careful look of watchful attention
bestowed upon it that showed, the zeal of his little household.

Uncertain how I should meet him, how far explain the affliction that
had fallen on me, I walked for some time up and down before the door;
at length I wandered to the back of the house, and passing the little
stable, I remarked that the pony was absent. The priest had not returned
perhaps since morning; perhaps he had gone some distance off--in all
likelihood accompanied the Bellews; again the few words he had spoken
that morning recurred to me, and I pondered in silence over their
meaning. As I thus mused, a strong flood of mellow light attracted me as
it fell in a broad stream across the little paved court, and I now saw
that it came from the kitchen