this life.----And for crosses and trouble, how
might my life have been made bitter to me, for when I think what
opposition I might have ere I was an actual minister, by divisions of
the people, the patron and the presbytery, it could not but overwhelm
me, and then being entered, what a fighting life, with a stubborn
people, might be my lot I know not, and then what discontentment I might
have in a wife, (which is the lot of many an honest man,) is uncertain,
then cares, fears, straits of the world, reproaches of men, personal
desires and the devil and an evil world to fight with, these and many
more cannot but keep a man in a struggling state in this life. And now
lest this should seem a mere speculation, I could instance these things
in the persons of many worthy men, I pass all, and only point out one
whose gifts and graces are well known to you, _viz._ Mr. David Dickson,
who I am sure, God has made the instrument of the conversion of many
souls, and of much good to the country, and yet this gracious person has
been tossed to and fro.--And you know that the Lord made him a gracious
instrument in this late reformation, and yet he has in a great measure
been slighted by the state and the kirk also. What reason have I then to
bless God, that in mercy is timeously removing me from all trouble, and
will make me as welcome to heaven as if I had preached forty years, for
he knows it was my intention (by his grace) to have honoured him in my
ministry, and seeing he has accepted the will for the deed, what reason
have I to complain, for now I am willing and ready to be dissolved and
to be with Christ, which is best of all, wherefore dear father, comfort
yourself with this."

One time in conference concerning the sin in the godly, his father said
to him, "I am sure you are not now troubled with corruption, being so
near death. He answered, Ye are altogether deceived, for so long as my
foot remaineth on this earth, though the other were translated above the
clouds, my mind would not be free of sinful motions." Whereupon he
regretted that he could not get his mind and his affections so lifted
up, to dwell or meditate on God, his word, or that endless life, as he
could have wished, and that he could not find that spirituality by
entertaining such thoughts of God's greatness and goodness as became
him, and was often much perplexed with vain thoughts, but he was
confident that the Lord in his rich mercy would pity and pass by this
h