hat the dairy maid was very pretty, that she made every body in
love with her, and was very much in love herself, that she was
accustomed to receive a great number of billet doux, which, on account
of her education having been very far below her incomparable merits, she
was not able to understand, without the assistance of Nicolene, the
groom, who was her confident, and amanuensis; that on the day before, he
gave her the letter in question, with directions to carry it to his
master, that under the influence of that thoughtful absence which is
said to attend the advanced stages of the tender passion, she soon
afterwards conceived that it was no other than a customary homage from
one of her many admirers, upon which she committed the supposed
depositary of tender sighs and brittle vows, to the warm custody of her
glowing bosom, than which, the gardener, (who at this moment saw his
master's eyes were engaged by the _sullied_ appearance of the letter)
declared that nothing was fairer; he again proceeded, by observing,
that in the course of the preceding evening, as she was stooping to
adjust her stool in the meadow, the cow kicked, and the epistle tumbled
into the milk pail; that she afterwards dried it by the kitchen fire,
and gave it, for the reasons before assigned, to her confidential friend
to explain to her, who soon discovered it to be a letter of business,
addressed to his master, instead of an impassioned love ditty for the
tender Marie; that, finally, all the principals concerned in this
unhappy affair were overwhelmed with distress, on account of the sad
disaster, and that the kitchen had lost all its vivacity ever since. No
advocate could have pleaded more eloquently. All the family, from its
chief, to little Harriet, whose tears were not yet dried, were in a
continued fit of laughing. The gardener, whose face very largely partook
of the gaiety which he had so successfully excited, was commissioned, by
his amiable master, to tell the distressed dairy maid, that love always
carried his pardon in his hand for all his offences, and that he
cheerfully forgave her, but directed the gardener, to prevent a
recurrence of similar accidents, not again to trust her with his letters
until the tender disease was radically removed. The rustic orator
gracefully bowed; and left us to finish our breakfast with increased
good humour, and to carry forgiveness and consolation to poor Marie and
all her condoling friends in the kitchen