hat guises the much advertised German excellence
was yet to appear in this domestic group whose culture and virtues
had been so extolled. If these manners and habits were part of its
perfect ripened fruit, then American education and life were indeed
obviously blighted. He could not help noticing that all hands had
not been necessarily washed before meal-time, and that finger nails
were unblushingly uncleaned and unkempt. An accidental glimpse under
the immense flowing white beard of his host revealed the absence of
a shirt collar, and the neck evidently relied on its untrimmed
hairiness as an excuse for not being customarily washed.

It became apparent to Kirtley after a month that personal cleanness
and neatness in Germany were not particularly considered as next to
godliness. The gold braid, spick and span uniforms and other showy
gear, were apt to cover dirty bodies and soiled underwear. Alas, the
Germans could not wash in beer. He wondered why his old enthusiastic
mentor had never given him a hint of these things. Likely he did not
know. Distance often increases eloquence in proportion as it breeds
ignorance.

With the exhilaration of the bounteous meal, however, Gard's spirits
rose to a height he had not known in a long time. If conversation
languished over the stony roads of the duality of expression,
glasses were clinked together again and a new topic was hopefully
started. When it seemed proper to him that the end of the repast
should be in sight, a new course would be brought in, usually
accompanied boisterously by the two family dogs, including the
ferocious beast who had given Gard the shivers. The animals
conducted themselves with a ravenous freedom around the board,
alternately being petted and fed and allowed to lick plates, only to
be in turn kicked out and shrieked after, with a chair occasionally
upset in the rumpus. This habit of kicking animals, things and
persons Gard later observed was prevalent among the Teutons, whose
appropriate fondness for conveniently big boots and large stout
shoes at the same time discourages any vanity about small feet. It
is a part of their military predilection.

At the end of a couple of hours dinner was brought to a close.
Fraeulein had not yet put in an appearance, and it now came out that
she was "at lesson." She must have stayed for another class. After
his gastronomic feat Gard did not know whether he felt sick or never
better in his life. What's more, he did n