th envy, hatred, lying, and
such sort of distempers; and, of consequence, furnish the hospital
annually with many incurables.

I would desire that the governors appointed to direct this hospital,
should have (if such a thing were possible) some appearance of religion,
and belief in God; because those who are to be admitted as incurable
infidels, atheists, deists, and freethinkers, most of which tribe are
only so out of pride, conceit, and affectation, might perhaps grow
gradually into believers, if they perceived it to be the custom of the
place where they lived.

Although it be not customary for the natives of Ireland to meet with any
manner of promotion in this kingdom, I would, in this respect, have that
national prejudice entirely laid aside; and request, that, for the
reputation of both kingdoms, a _large_ apartment in the hospital may be
fitted up for Irishmen particularly, who, either by knavery, lewdness,
or fortune-hunting, should appear qualified for admittance; because
their numbers would certainly be very considerable.

I would further request, that a father, who seems delighted at seeing
his son metamorphosed into a fop, or a coxcomb, because he hath
travelled from London to Paris; may be sent along with the young
gentleman to the hospital, as an old fool, absolutely incurable.

If a poet hath luckily produced anything, especially in the dramatic
way, which is tolerably well received by the public, he should be sent
immediately to the hospital; because incurable vanity is always the
consequence of a little success. And, if his compositions be ill
received, let him be admitted as a scribbler.

And I hope, in regard to the great pains I have taken, about this
Scheme, that I shall be admitted upon the foundation, as one of the
scribbling incurables. But, as an additional favour, I entreat, that I
may not be placed in an apartment with a poet who hath employed his
genius for the stage; because he will kill me with repeating his own
compositions: and I need not acquaint the world, that it is extremely
painful to bear any nonsense--except our own.

My private reason for soliciting so early to be admitted is, because it
is observed that schemers and projectors are generally reduced to
beggary; but, by my being provided for in the hospital, either as an
incurable fool or a scribbler, that discouraging observation will for
once be publicly disproved, and my brethren in that way will be secure
of a public rewa