seemed as if it disturbed
me, as though something of the soul had remained in it. And I put it back
on the velvet, rusty from age, and pushed in the drawer, closed the doors
of the antique cabinet and went out for a walk to meditate.

"I walked along, filled with sadness and also with unrest, that unrest
that one feels when in love. I felt as though I must have lived before,
as though I must have known this woman.

"And Villon's lines came to my mind like a sob:

Tell me where, and in what place
Is Flora, the beautiful Roman,
Hipparchia and Thais
Who was her cousin-german?

Echo answers in the breeze
O'er river and lake that blows,
Their beauty was above all praise,
But where are last year's snows?

The queen, white as lilies,
Who sang as sing the birds,
Bertha Broadfoot, Beatrice, Alice,
Ermengarde, princess of Maine,
And Joan, the good Lorraine,
Burned by the English at Rouen,
Where are they, Virgin Queen?
And where are last year's snows?

"When I got home again I felt an irresistible longing to see my singular
treasure, and I took it out and, as I touched it, I felt a shiver go all
through me.

"For some days, however, I was in my ordinary condition, although the
thought of that tress of hair was always present to my mind.

"Whenever I came into the house I had to see it and take it in my, hands.
I turned the key of the cabinet with the same hesitation that one opens
the door leading to one's beloved, for in my hands and my heart I felt a
confused, singular, constant sensual longing to plunge my hands in the
enchanting golden flood of those dead tresses.

"Then, after I had finished caressing it and had locked the cabinet I
felt as if it were a living thing, shut up in there, imprisoned; and I
longed to see it again. I felt again the imperious desire to take it in
my hands, to touch it, to even feel uncomfortable at the cold, slippery,
irritating, bewildering contact.

"I lived thus for a month or two, I forget how long. It obsessed me,
haunted me. I was happy and tormented by turns, as when one falls in
love, and after the first vows have been exchanged.

"I shut myself in the room with it to feel it on my skin, to bury my lips
in it, to kiss it. I wound it round my face, covered my eyes with the
golden flood so as to see the day gleam through its gold.

"I loved it! Yes, I loved it. I could not be without it nor pass an hour
without looking at it.