scape, my breath rattling
with fear, neither seeing the bank, nor finding my boat; and it seemed as
if I would feel myself dragged down by the feet to the bottom of these
black waters.

In fact, as I should have had to ascend the stream at least five hundred
metres before finding a spot free from grasses and rushes where I could
land, there were nine chances to one that I could not find my way in the
fog and that I should drown, no matter how well I could swim.

I tried to reason with myself. My will made me resolve not to be afraid,
but there was something in me besides my will, and that other thing was
afraid. I asked myself what there was to be afraid of. My brave "ego"
ridiculed my coward "ego," and never did I realize, as on that day, the
existence in us of two rival personalities, one desiring a thing, the
other resisting, and each winning the day in turn.

This stupid, inexplicable fear increased, and became terror. I remained
motionless, my eyes staring, my ears on the stretch with expectation. Of
what? I did not know, but it must be something terrible. I believe if it
had occurred to a fish to jump out of the water, as often happens,
nothing more would have been required to make me fall over, stiff and
unconscious.

However, by a violent effort I succeeded in becoming almost rational
again. I took up my bottle of rum and took several pulls. Then an idea
came to me, and I began to shout with all my might towards all the points
of the compass in succession. When my throat was absolutely paralyzed I
listened. A dog was howling, at a great distance.

I drank some more rum and stretched myself out at the bottom of the boat.
I remained there about an hour, perhaps two, not sleeping, my eyes wide
open, with nightmares all about me. I did not dare to rise, and yet I
intensely longed to do so. I delayed it from moment to moment. I said to
myself: "Come, get up!" and I was afraid to move. At last I raised myself
with infinite caution as though my life depended on the slightest sound
that I might make; and looked over the edge of the boat. I was dazzled by
the most marvellous, the most astonishing sight that it is possible to
see. It was one of those phantasmagoria of fairyland, one of those sights
described by travellers on their return from distant lands, whom we
listen to without believing.

The fog which, two hours before, had floated on the water, had gradually
cleared off and massed on the banks, leaving the r