--

This preparation is issued in amber glass pots, as a War Emergency
Measure, when white glass is not available owing to shortage."

"War Bottle. Amber glass is not obtainable just now, so we have to
use white glass. May we ask you to grant us your kind indulgence
under the circumstances?"

* * * * *

"A bullet fired at a pig from a humane killer, struck the wall
of a Merthyr Tydvil slaughterhouse, ricochetted and wounded a
butcher's manager."--_Daily Paper_.

The victim regards the name of the instrument as most inept.

* * * * *

"Lord Salvesen, the presiding judge, arrived in Aberdeen on Monday
night, and gave a winner in the Palace Hotel."--_Sunday Paper_.

We hope to meet him in London before the Derby.

* * * * *

POLLY.

_(With acknowledgments to Mr. KIPLING.)_

I went into a private 'ouse to get a place as cook;
The lady ups an' greets me with a most angelic look:
"I've just been makin' tea," she sez, "I 'opes as you will try
These little scones wot I 'ave baked;" and to myself sez I:
"It was Polly this, an' Polly that, an' 'Polly, scrub the
floor,'
But it's 'If you please, Miss Perkins,' since we won the
bloomin' War;
We won the bloomin' War, my girls, we won the bloomin' War,
It's 'If you please, Miss Perkins,' since we won the
bloomin' War."

The lady she was out to please; we talked about the weather,
An' when the tea was done we smoked a cigarette together,
An' then we talked o' jazzin' an' the BILLIE CARLETON case,
An' so we come in course o' time to talkin' o' the place.

"You won't mind cookin' lunch?" sez she. Sez I, "Without a doubt,
On Toosdays an' on Fridays, which they ain't my 'alf-days out;
An' dinner, too, I'll manage"--'ere the lady give a grin--
"On Mondays an' on Thursdays, which they 'll be my evenings in."

"An' wot about the breakfast?" "Don't you worry, mum," sez I,
"I'm willin' to oblige you every single blessed dye,
Bar Sundays, when my young man comes; 'e's such a bloomin' toff,
'E takes me up the river, so I takes the 'ole day off."

"That's excellent," the lady sez, "I'll easy do the rest,
So if you come, Miss Perkins, you will be our honoured guest,
For Mr. Vere de Vere an' I do all we ca