n an' more
To please the splendid women wot 'ave bin an' won the War."

Well, seein' as the lady seemed to 'ave the proper view,
I took the situation an' I 'opes as it will do.
Of course there may be drawbacks, but you can't get _all_ you wish,
For aprons ain't quite overalls an' cookin' ain't munish.
It was Polly this, an' Polly that, an' "Ugh! the mutton's red;"
But it's "_Won't_ you come, Miss Perkins?" now we're paid to
stay in bed;
An' it's Polly this, an' Polly that, an' anythink you please;
An' Polly ain't a bloomin' fool--you bet that Polly sees!

* * * * *

"LES BEAUX ESPRITS SE RENCONTRENT."

"Persons expressing unpopular views (by which I mean views opposed
to such patriots as Horatio Bottomley, Colonel Lowther, and
our own hon. and gallant member of Parliament, et hog genus
omne)."--_Letter in "The Daily News_."

"There have been more pig posts than there have been big men able
to fill them.--Mr. Bonar Law."--_Bristol Times and Mirror_.

* * * * *

From an article on the Zeebrugge exploit:--

"An on-shore wind was needed to carry the fog-screen in advance
of the blockships. Absence of fog was essential. A fog would be
beneficial. These desiderata postulated a concurrence of
favourable conditions, and on April 23 they were not all
present."--_Cologne Post_.

We gather that the Censor, shortly to be demobilised at home, still
maintains his watch on the Rhine.

* * * * *

CRITICISM IN EXCELSIS.

There was a good deal of excitement in the Elysian Fields when the
news went round that the Committee had exercised their power of
electing a certain distinguished Shade to full membership of the
Asphodel Club without a ballot. The general opinion seemed to be that
the Committee had acted wisely, and that the election was in every way
justified. A few members, however, expressed disapproval, not so
much on account of any demerits of his own as of the effect that his
election might produce on the sensitive minds of some who were already
members.

"This Dr. SAMUEL JOHNSON," said one who had been busy in canvassing
opinions, "is fully qualified for membership, but I fear he may have a
deleterious effect on JOHN MILTON and THOMAS GRAY. Did he not roughly
criticise them in his _Lives of the Poets_, and