Oklahoma_.)

"Angel, or jewel, or princess, or queen,
Tell me immediately, where have you been?"

"I've been to ask all my slaves so devoted
Why they against my enfranchisement voted."

"Angel and princess, that action was wrong.
Back to the kitchen, where angels belong."

The Revolt of Mother

("Every true woman feels----"--_Speech of almost any Congressman_.)

I am old-fashioned, and I think it right
That man should know, by Nature's laws eternal,
The proper way to rule, to earn, to fight,
And exercise those functions called paternal;
But even I a little bit rebel
At finding that he knows my job as well.

At least he's always ready to expound it,
Especially in legislative hall,
The joys, the cares, the halos that surround it,
"How women feel"--he knows that best of all.
In fact his thesis is that no one can
Know what is womanly except a man.

I am old-fashioned, and I am content
When he explains the world of art and science
And government--to him divinely sent--
I drink it in with ladylike compliance.
But cannot listen--no, I'm only human--
While he instructs me how to be a woman.

The Gallant Sex

(A woman engineer has been dismissed by the Board of Education, under
their new rule that women shall not attend high pressure boilers,
although her work has been satisfactory and she holds a license to
attend such boilers from the Police Department.)

Lady, dangers lurk in boilers,
Risks I could not let you face.
Men were meant to be the toilers,
Home, you know, is woman's place.
Have no home? Well, is that so?
Still, it's not my fault, you know.

Charming lady, work no more;
Fair you are and sweet as honey;
Work might make your fingers sore,
And, besides, I need the money.
Prithee rest,--or starve or rob--
Only let me have your job!

Representation

("My wife is against suffrage, and that settles me."--_Vice-President
Marshall_.)

I

My wife dislikes the income tax,
And so I cannot pay it;
She thinks that golf all interest lacks,
So now I never play it;
She is opposed to tolls repeal
(Though why I cannot say),
But woman's duty is to feel,
And man's is to obey.

II

I'm in a hard position for a perfect gentleman,
I want to please the ladies, bu