ms strange that this man should not have realised that he was in a
position to earn a handsome salary as a music-hall comedian.

***

Owing to a cow straying on the line at Acton Bridge last week a goods
train was derailed. It seems that the unfortunate animal was not aware
that cow-catchers had been abolished.

***

It is reported that the two thousand taxi-drivers still on strike have
decided to offer their services to Sir AUCKLAND GEDDES for munition
work. Suitable employment will be found for them in a high-expletive
factory.

***

In New York a club has been started exclusively for golfers. The
others insisted on it.

***

A notice exhibited in the window of a Bermondsey public-house bears
the words, "There is nothing like Government Ale." Agreed.

***

"Shrimps," says a Southern Command Order, "should not be purchased
where a long train journey is involved." For soldiers, however, who
require this kind of diet little excursions to the seaside can always
be arranged for with the C.O.

***

At Aberavon the other day the son of an interned German was bitten by
a dog which he had kicked by accident. The dog of course did not know
it was an accident.

***

We are the first to record the fact that a dear old lady, the other
morning, went up to the Tank in Trafalgar Square and offered it a bun.

***

We should like to deny the rumour that when he heard of Lord
ROTHERMERE's appointment to the Air Ministry Lord NORTHCLIFFE
muttered, "Alas! my poor brother."

***

More bread is being eaten than ever, says the FOOD CONTROLLER. It
appears that the stuff is now eaten by itself, instead of being spread
thinly on butter, as in pre-war days.

***

The largest telescope in the World has just been erected at the Mount
Wilson Observatory in California. Enthusiasts predict that the end of
the War will be clearly visible through it.

***

Owing to scarcity of petrol several fire-brigades have had again to
resort to horses. In consequence people who have fires are requested
to place their orders at once, as they can only be dealt with in
strict rotation.

***

The prisoner who escaped from the Manchester Assize Court, after being
sentenced to three years' imprisonment, has explained that he was just
pretending to be a German prisoner.

***

An awkward situation has arisen through Mr. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW and