desire of vengeance, he was afraid of my going to England, lest I
should there take advantage of that liberty of the press which he had so
effectually put down in France. He probably imagined that my object was
to publish statements which would more effectually have enlightened the
public respecting his government and designs than all the scandalous
anecdotes, atrocious calumnies, and ridiculous fabrications of Pelletier,
the editor of the 'Ambigu'. But Bonaparte was much deceived in this
supposition; and if there can remain any doubt on that subject, it will
be removed on referring to the date of these Memoirs, and observing the
time at which I consented to publish them.
I was not deceived as to the reasons of Bonaparte's unceremonious refusal
of my application; and as I well knew his inquisitorial character,
I thought it prudent to conceal my notes. I acted differently from
Camoens. He contended with the sea to preserve his manuscripts; I made
the earth the depository of mine. I carefully enclosed my most valuable
notes and papers in a tin box, which I buried under ground. A yellow
tinge, the commencement of decay, has in some places almost obliterated
the writing.
It will be seen in the sequel that my precaution was not useless, and
that I was right in anticipating the persecution of Bonaparte, provoked
by the malice of my enemies. On the 20th of April Duroc sent me the
following note:
I beg, my dear Bourrienne, that you will come to St. Cloud this
morning. I have something to tell you on the part of the First
Consul.
(Signed) DUROC.
This note caused me much anxiety. I could not doubt but that my enemies
had invented some new calumny; but I must say that I did not expect such
baseness as I experienced.
As soon as Duroc had made me acquainted with the business which the First
Consul had directed him to communicate, I wrote on the spot the subjoined
letter to Bonaparte:
At General Duroc's desire I have this moment waited upon him, and he
informs me that you have received notice that a deficit of 100,000
francs has been discovered in the Treasury of the Navy, which you
require me to refund this day at noon.
Citizen First Consul, I know not what this means! I am utterly
ignorant of the matter. I solemnly declare to you that this charge
is a most infamous calumny. It is one more to be added to the
number of those malicious charges which have been invented
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