l take the stage-coach to his little village,
And find it full of uncles and of cousins,
Whose conversation will delight you. Then
You'll be presented in their best society.
You'll even go to call, by way of welcome,
On Mrs. Bailiff, Mrs. Tax-Collector,
Who'll patronise you with a folding-stool.
There, once a year, at carnival, you'll have
Perhaps--a ball; with orchestra--two bag-pipes;
And sometimes a trained ape, and Punch and Judy;
Though if your husband ...

MARIANE
Oh, you'll kill me. Please
Contrive to help me out with your advice.

DORINE
I thank you kindly.

MARIANE
Oh! Dorine, I beg you ...

DORINE
To serve you right, this marriage must go through.

MARIANE
Dear girl!

DORINE
No.

MARIANE
If I say I love Valere ...

DORINE
No, no. Tartuffe's your man, and you shall taste him.

MARIANE
You know I've always trusted you; now help me ...

DORINE
No, you shall be, my faith! Tartuffified.

MARIANE
Well, then, since you've no pity for my fate
Let me take counsel only of despair;
It will advise and help and give me courage;
There's one sure cure, I know, for all my troubles.

(She starts to go.)

DORINE
There, there! Come back. I can't be angry long.
I must take pity on you, after all.

MARIANE
Oh, don't you see, Dorine, if I must bear
This martyrdom, I certainly shall die.

DORINE
Now don't you fret. We'll surely find some way.
To hinder this ... But here's Valere, your lover.

SCENE IV

VALERE, MARIANE, DORINE

VALERE
Madam, a piece of news--quite new to me--
Has just come out, and very fine it is.

MARIANE
What piece of news?

VALERE
Your marriage with Tartuffe.

MARIANE
'Tis true my father has this plan in mind.

VALERE
Your father, madam ...

MARIANE
Yes, he's changed his plans,
And did but now propose it to me.

VALERE
What!
Seriously?

MARIANE
Yes, he was serious,
And openly insisted on the match.

VALERE
And what's your resolution in the matter,
Madam?

MARIANE
I don't know.

VALERE
That's a pretty answer.
You don't know?

MARIANE
No.

VALERE
No?

MARIANE
What do you advise?

VALERE
I? My advice is, marry him, by all means.

MARIANE
That's your advice?

VALERE
Yes.

MARIANE
Do you mean it?

VALERE
Surely.
A splendid choice, and wort