urpose, my father clearly saw that
while the paroxysm lasted, no arguments could pacify me. He conducted
me to one of the upper rooms, and left two servants to keep constant
watch over me. I was completely bewildered. I would have given a
thousand lives to be but for one quarter of an hour in Paris. I had
sense enough, however, to know that having so openly declared my
intention, they would not easily allow me to quit my chamber. I looked
at the height of the windows. Seeing no possibility of escaping that
way, I addressed the servants in the most tranquil tone. I promised,
with the most solemn vows, to make at some future day their fortunes,
if they would but consent to my escape. I entreated them; I tried
caresses, and lastly threats; but all were unavailing. I gave myself
up to despair. I resolved to die; and threw myself upon the bed, with
a firm determination to quit it only with my life. In this situation I
passed the night and the following day. I refused the nourishment that
was brought to me next morning.

"My father came to see me in the afternoon. He tried in the most
affectionate manner, to soothe my grief. He desired me so urgently to
take some refreshment, that, to gratify him, I obeyed his wishes.
Several days passed, during which I took nothing but in his presence,
and at his special request. He continued to furnish new arguments to
restore me to my proper senses, and to inspire me with merited contempt
for the faithless Manon. I certainly had lost all esteem for her: how
could I esteem the most fickle and perfidious of created beings! But
her image--those exquisite features, which were engraven on my heart's
core, were still uneffaced. I understood my own feelings: 'I may
die,' said I, 'and I ought to die after so much shame and grief; but I
might suffer a thousand deaths without being able to forget the ingrate
Manon.'

"My father was surprised at my still continuing so powerfully affected.
He knew that I was imbued with the principles of honour; and not
doubting that her infidelity must make me despise her, fancied that my
obstinacy proceeded less from this particular passion, than from a
general inclination towards the sex. This idea so took possession of
his mind, that, prompted only by his affection for me, he came one day
to reveal his thoughts. 'Chevalier,' said he to me, 'it has been
hitherto my intention to make you bear the Cross of Malta: I now see
that your inclinations d