pleasantly strong sense of being in a false
position. There is nothing indeed intrinsically ludicrous about it; the
chances are that the lover is doing a very sensible thing, and that his
wisest friends approve of his conduct. Still it is undeniable that he
moves about, to his own apprehension at least, in a universal atmosphere
of ridicule. He feels that he is really a quiet hard-working young man,
full of law it may be, or of plans for improving his parish, or of
Parliamentary notices of motion. He can talk about his own topics with
interest and intelligence, and may possibly be an authority in a small
way. He is quite conscious, too, that there are many sides to his
character which do not come out in his ordinary every-day business.
Unluckily that is just the fact which his friends are apt to ignore.

We soon learn to associate our acquaintance with the positions in which
we have been accustomed to see them, and forget that they may have
sentiments and faculties of which we know nothing. Consequently an
engagement seems to imply an entire metamorphosis. Our friend, or his
image in our minds, was a comparatively simple compound of two or three
characters at most; whereas men generally have a far more complex
organization. In business hours, perhaps, he was simply a machine for
grinding out law, and at other times a lively talker and a good
whist-player. No process of transmutation will convert either of those
into the conventional lover, who can think of nothing but the object of
his affections; the apparent incongruity is too violent not to produce a
sense of the ludicrous; and our friend is bound in decency to make it as
violent as possible. From which it follows that we laugh, and that he
knows that we are laughing, at him. Intensely awkward congratulations
are exchanged, according to two or three formulas which have been handed
down from distant generations. If the congratulator is a married man, he
hopes that his friend may enjoy as much happiness as he has found
himself in the married state; if a bachelor, he assures him that,
although unable hitherto to act up to his principles, he has always
thought marriage the right thing. There are persons who can repeat one
of these common forms with all the air of making an original
observation, as there are men who can begin an oration by asserting that
they are unaccustomed to public speaking; but, as a rule, it is said in
such a way as to imply that the speaker, whilst