Birsch came up to me at once. We chatted on various topics, and he
told me of something which was likely to be quite useful for Goodwood.
Then he said suddenly:

"Matter of fact, there was a bit of private business I wanted a word
with you about. This boat's too full of what I call riff-raff.
Mouth-organs. Bad taste. Can't hear yourself speak. But we get an hour
at Ramsgate, and if you'll take a snack with me there, I can tell you
what I've got to say."

More from curiosity than from anything else, I accepted. And I must say
that our luncheon conversation was rather remarkable.

BIRSCH: To come to the point, you're the very identical girl that I
want Alfred to marry.

MARGE (_innocently_): Alfred?

BIRSCH: Yes, my son.

MARGE: But I have never even seen him.

BIRSCH: And when you have you'll probably wish you hadn't. But
don't let that prejudice you. It's the inside of the head that
counts. That boy's got a perfect genius for cottage property and
real tact with it. Only last week he raised an old woman's rent a
shilling a week, and when he left she gave him a rosebud and said
she'd pray for him. It takes some doing--a thing like that. Now, I
want a public career for that boy, and if he marries you he can't
miss it. Do you know what Mr. Bunting said to me about you?

MARGE (_breathlessly_): But he's so flattering. I think he likes
me--I don't know why. I sometimes wonder----

BIRSCH (_just as if I'd never spoken_): Bunting said to me: "That
girl, Marge, will get into the newspapers. It may be in the Court
News, and it may be in the Police-court News. That will depend on
which she prefers. But she'll get there, and she'll stick there!"
That's what I want for Alfred. Everything's ready for him to start
firing, but he needs you to sight the gun.

MARGE: And if you can't get me, whom would you like?

BIRSCH: Well, Lady Artemis Morals has some gift for publicity. But
Alfred won't marry a title--say's he rather thinks of making a
title for himself. The boy's got ambition. The cash is forthcoming.
And you can do the rest.

MARGE: It is a flattering offer. You'll let me think over it?

He kindly consented, and we returned to the boat. However, on the way
back the sea became very rough and unpleasant; and I threw up the idea.

(By the way, you don't mind me writing the dialogue, as