r. But the same obstacle always raised
itself in my way. After what had happened between us, it was impossible
for me to write to her directly, without first restoring myself to my
former place in her estimation. And I could only do this, by entering
into particulars which, for all I knew to the contrary, it might still be
cruel and dangerous to reveal.

As for writing to Miss Batchford, I had already tried the old lady's
patience in that way, before leaving England. If I tried it again, with
no better excuse for a second intrusion than my own anxieties might
suggest, the chances were that this uncompromising royalist would throw
my letter in the fire, and treat her republican correspondent with
contemptuous silence. Grosse was the third, and last, person from whom I
might hope to obtain information. But--shall I confess it?--I did not
know what Lucilla might have told him of the estrangement between us, and
my pride (remember, if you please, that I am a poverty-stricken
foreigner) revolted at the idea of exposing myself to a possible repulse.

However, by the eleventh of the month, I began to feel my suspense so
keenly, and to suffer under such painful doubts of what Nugent might be
doing in my absence, that I resolved at all hazards on writing to Grosse.
It was at least possible, as I calculated--and the Journal will show you
I calculated right--that Lucilla had only told him of my melancholy
errand at Marseilles, and had mentioned nothing more. I had just opened
my desk--when our doctor in attendance entered the room, and announced
the joyful intelligence that he could answer at last for the recovery of
good Papa.

"Can I go back to England?" I asked eagerly.

"Not immediately. You are his favorite nurse--you must gradually accustom
him to the idea of your going away. If you do anything sudden you may
cause a relapse."

"I will do nothing sudden. Only tell me, when it will be safe--absolutely
safe--for me to go?"

"Say, in a week."

"On the eighteenth?"

"On the eighteenth."

I shut up my writing-desk. Within a few days, I might now hope to be in
England as soon as I could receive Grosse's answer at Marseilles. Under
these circumstances, it would be better to wait until I could make my
inquiries, safely and independently, in my own proper person. Comparison
of dates will show that if I _had_ written to the German oculist, it
would have been too late. It was now the eleventh; and Lucilla had left
Ramsgate