th
hysterical laughing, termed out there "holy laughing," and even dancing!
and barking! called also "holy!"--till, at the partial subsidence of the
bedlam, the orator resumed his eloquence.

It is singular Mr. S. overlooked an objection to the divine Providence
arising from his own illustration. That children do sometimes perish by
being burnt and drowned, is undeniable; yet is not their existence
prevented--and that in the very case where the sisters were induced to
say _they_ would have prevented their existence! But, in justice to Mr.
S., we must say that he seemed to have anticipated the objection, and to
have furnished the reply; for, said he, in one part of his discourse,
"God did not _wish_ to foreknow _some_ things!"

But our friend's mode of avoiding a predestined death--if such an
absurdity be supposed--deserves all praise for the facility and
simplicity of the contrivance. "Let us," said he, "for argument's sake,
grant that I, the Rev. Elder Sprightly, am foreordained to be drowned,
in the river, at Smith's Ferry, next Thursday morning, at twenty-two
minutes after ten o'clock; and suppose I know it; and suppose I am a
free, moral, voluntary, accountable agent, as Calvinists say--do you
think I'm going to be drowned? No!--I would stay at home all day; and
you'll never ketch the Rev. Elder Sprightly at Smith's Ferry--nor near
the river neither!"

Reader, is it any wonder Calvinism is on the decline? Logic it _can_
stand; but human nature thus excited in opposition, it can not stand.
Hence, throughout our vast assembly to-day, this unpopular _ism_, in
spite of Calvin and the Epistle to the Romans, was put down; if not by
acclamation, yet by exclamation--by shouting--by roaring--by groaning
and hissing--by clapping and stamping--by laughing, and crying, and
whining; and thus the end of the sermon was gained and the _preacher_
glorified!

The introductory discourse in the afternoon was by the Rev. Remarkable
Novus. This was a gentleman I had often the pleasure of entertaining at
my house in Woodville; and he _was_ a Christian in sentiment and
feeling; for though properly and decidedly a warm friend to his own
sect, he was charitably disposed toward myself and others that differed
from him ecclesiastically. His talents were moderate; but his voice was
transcendently excellent. It was rich, deep, mellow, liquid and
sonorous, and capable of any inflections. It could preserve its melody
in an unruffled flow, at