ding, which was very large, as there was not one of the
sect in that line of business. "Become one of us, Japhet--good
business--marry by-and-bye--happy life--little children--and so on." I
thought of Susannah, and was silent. Cophagus then said, I had better
reflect upon his offer, and make up my determination. If that did not
suit me, he would still give me all the assistance in his power. I did
reflect long before I could make up my mind. I was still worldly
inclined; still my fancy would revel in the idea of finding out my
father in high life, and, as once more appearing as a star of fashion,
of returning with interest the contumely I had lately received, and
re-assuming as a right that position in society which I had held under
false colours.

I could not bear the idea of sinking at once into a tradesman, and
probably ending my days in obscurity. Pride was still my ruling passion.
Such were my first impulses, and then I looked upon the other side of
the picture. I was without the means necessary to support myself; I
could not return to high life without I discovered my parents in the
first place, and in the second, found them to be such as my warm
imagination had depicted. I had no chance of finding them. I had
already been long seeking in vain. I had been twice taken up to Bow
Street--nearly lost my life in Ireland--had been sentenced to death--had
been insane, and recovered by a miracle, and all in prosecuting this
useless search. All this had much contributed to cure me of the
monomania. I agreed with Susannah that the search must be made by the
other parties, and not by me. I recalled the treatment I had received
from the world--the contempt with which I had been treated--the
heartlessness of high life, and the little chance of my ever again being
admitted into fashionable society.

I placed all this in juxtaposition with the kindness of those with whom I
now resided--what they had done already for me, and what they now
offered, which was to make me independent by my own exertions. I weighed
all in my mind; was still undecided, for my pride still carried its
weight; when I thought of the pure, beautiful Susannah Temple, and--my
decision was made. I would not lose the substance by running after
shadows.

That evening, with many thanks, I accepted the kind offers of Mr
Cophagus, and expressed my determination of entering into the Society
of Friends.

"Thou hast chosen wisely," said Mrs Cophagus, extending he