d manner. The
fact was, that one of my castle buildings had been, that I was to marry
Fleta as soon as I had found my own father, and this it was which had
actuated me, almost without my knowing it. I felt jealous of Harcourt,
and that, without being in love with Miss de Clare, but actually
passionately fond of another person; I felt as if I could have married
her without loving her, and that I could give up Susannah Temple, whom
I did love, rather than that a being whom I considered as almost of my
own creation, should herself presume to fall in love, or that another
should dare to love her, until I had made up my mind whether I should
take her myself: and this after so long an absence, and their having
given up all hopes of ever seeing me again. The reader may smile at the
absurdity, still more at the selfishness of this feeling; so did I, when
I had reflected upon it, and I despised myself for my vanity and folly.

"What are you thinking of, Japhet?" observed Mr Masterton, tired with my
long abstraction.

"That I have been making a most egregious fool of myself, sir," replied
I, "with respect to the De Clares."

"I did not say so, Japhet; but, to tell you the truth, I thought
something very like it. Now tell me, were you not jealous at finding her
in company with Harcourt?"

"Exactly so, sir."

"I'll tell Susannah Temple when I see her, that she may form some idea
of your constancy," replied Mr Masterton, smiling. "Why, what a dog in
the manger you must be--you can't marry them both. Still, under the
circumstances, I can analyse the feeling--it is natural, but all that is
natural is not always creditable to human nature. Let us talk a little
about Susannah, and then all these vagaries will be dispersed. How old
is she?"

Mr Masterton plied me with so many questions relative to Susannah, that
her image alone soon filled my mind, and I recovered my spirits. "I
don't know what she will say, at my being in this dress, sir," observed
I. "Had I not better change it on my arrival?"

"By no means; I'll fight your battle--I know her character pretty well,
thanks to your raving about her."

Chapter LXXIII

Contains much learned argument upon broad-brims and garments of
grey--I get the best of it--The one great wish of my life is
granted--I meet my father, and a cold reception very indicative
of much after-heat.

We arrived in good time at Reading, and, as soon as we alighted at the
inn