fact, and I cannot deny it. I could hardly
answer Mr Masterton during our journey to town; and when I threw myself
on the sofa in my own room, I felt as if I was desolate and deserted.
I did not repine at Cecilia's happiness; so far from it, I would have
sacrificed my life for her; but she was a creature of my own--one of the
objects in this world to which I was endeared--one that had been
dependent on me and loved me. Now that she was restored to her parent,
she rose above me, and I was left still more desolate. I do not know
that I ever passed a week of such misery as the one which followed a
_denouement_ productive of so much happiness to others, and which had
been sought with so much eagerness, and at so much risk, by myself. It
was no feeling of envy, God knows; but it appeared to me as if everyone
in the world was to be made happy except myself. But I had more to bear
up against.

When I had quitted for Ireland, it was still supposed that I was a young
man of large fortune--the truth had not been told. I had acceded to Mr
Masterton's suggestions, that I was no longer to appear under false
colours, and had requested Harcourt, to whom I made known my real
condition, that he would everywhere state the truth. News like this
flies like wildfire; there were too many whom, perhaps, when under the
patronage of Major Carbonnell, and the universal rapture from my
supposed wealth, I had treated with hauteur, glad to receive the
intelligence, and spread it far and wide. My _imposition_, as they
pleased to term it, was the theme of every party, and many were the
indignant remarks of the dowagers who had so often indirectly proposed
to me their daughters; and if there was anyone more virulent than the
rest, I hardly need say that it was Lady Maelstrom, who nearly killed
her job horses in driving about from one acquaintance to another, to
represent my unheard-of atrocity in presuming to deceive my betters.
Harcourt, who had agreed to live with me--Harcourt, who had praised my
magnanimity in making the disclosure--even Harcourt fell off; and about
a fortnight after I had arrived in town, told me that not finding the
lodgings so convenient as his former abode, he intended to return to it.
He took a friendly leave; but I perceived that if we happened to meet in
the streets, he often contrived to be looking another way; and at last,
a slight recognition was all that I received. Satisfied that it was
intended, I no longer noticed him