hatmas
or--DIE. I never stopped to think that what I was going to undertake
would be regarded as the rash act of a lunatic. I had no permission, no
"pass" from the Sikkhim Rajah, and was yet decided to penetrate into the
heart of a semi-independent State where, if anything happened, the
Anglo-Indian officials would not--if even they could--protect me, since
I should have crossed over without their permission. But I never even
gave that a thought, but was bent upon one engrossing idea--to find and
see my Guru. Without breathing a word of my intentions to any one, one
morning, namely, October 5, I set out in search of the Mahatma. I had
an umbrella and a pilgrim's staff for sole weapons, with a few rupees in
my purse. I wore the yellow garb and cap. Whenever I was tired on the
road, my costume easily procured for me for a small sum a pony to ride.
The same afternoon I reached the banks of the Rungit River, which forms
the boundary between British and Sikkhimese territories. I tried to
cross it by the aerial suspension bridge constructed of canes, but it
swayed to and fro to such an extent that I, who have never known in my
life what hardship was, could not stand it. I crossed the river by the
ferry-boat, and this even not without much danger and difficulty. That
whole afternoon I traveled on foot, penetrating further and further into
the heart of Sikkhim, along a narrow footpath. I cannot now say how
many miles I traveled before dusk, but I am sure it was not less than
twenty or twenty-five miles. Throughout, I saw nothing but impenetrable
jungles and forests on all sides of me, relieved at very long intervals
by solitary huts belonging to the mountain population. At dusk I began
to search around me for a place to rest in at night. I met on the road,
in the afternoon, a leopard and a wild cat; and I am astonished now to
think how I should have felt no fear then nor tried to run away.
Throughout, some secret influence supported me. Fear or anxiety never
once entered my mind. Perhaps in my heart there was room for no other
feeling but an intense anxiety to find my Guru. When it was just
getting dark, I espied a solitary hut a few yards from the roadside. To
it I directed my steps in the hope of finding a lodging. The rude door
was locked. The cabin was untenanted at the time. I examined it on all
sides and found an aperture on the western side. It was small indeed,
but sufficient for me to jump through.