mamma, how amusingly he tells about the way he learned! Here,
just listen. Well, and how did you learn Latin?

NEGLIGENTOV. Turpissime!

MADAM ULANBEKOV. [_Shrugging her shoulders_] What in the world is that?

NEGLIGENTOV. Most abominably.

LEONID. No, wait a bit; and what did the teacher do with you?

NEGLIGENTOV. [_Bursts out laughing_] It made you laugh. Once, after a cruel
torture, he commanded two students to fasten me by the neck with a belt,
and to lead me through the market-place as a laughing-stock.

MADAM ULANBEKOV. How is it they took you into the civil service if you
never learned anything?

NEGLIGENTOV. Through the mediation of influential people.

LEONID. And did they expel you from school?

NEGLIGENTOV. They didn't expel me; but they excluded me because I grew too
much.

LEONID. Grew too much?

NEGLIGENTOV. Well, as I, during all this teaching and grilling, remaining
in the lower grades, was getting on in years, and grew more than the other
fellows of my class, of course I was excluded because I was too big. I
suffered all the more from the venality of those at the head. Our rector
liked gifts; and a week before the examinations, he sent us all to our
parents for presents. According to the number of these presents, we were
promoted to the higher classes.

LEONID. What was your conduct like?

NEGLIGENTOV. Reprehensible.

MADAM ULANBEKOV. What in the world! Good heavens! Go away, my dear sir, go
away!

LEONID. Oh, mamma, he's comical; wait a bit before driving him out. Dance,
NEGLIGENTOV!

NEGLIGENTOV. [_Dances and sings_]

"I shall go, shall go to mow
Upon the meadow green."

GRISHA _bursts out laughing._

MADAM ULANBEKOV. Stop, stop! [NEGLIGENTOV _ceases_. _To_ GRISHA] What are
you laughing at?

GRISHA. The member dances very comically.

MADAM ULANBEKOV. What do you mean, "member"?

GRISHA. Why, he himself tells us all that he is a member in the court, not
a copy-clerk. And so they call him the member.

NEGLIGENTOV. I call myself the member, although falsely, but expressly
for the respect of the court menials, and in order to escape scoffing and
insult.

MADAM ULANBEKOV. Be gone, and don't you ever dare to show yourself to me!

NEGLIGENTOV. Uncle says that I fell into loose living because of my
bachelor life, and that I may get mired in it unless you show me your
favor.

MADAM ULANBEKOV. No, no, never!

NEGLIGENTOV. [_On his knees_] Uncle told me to beg you with tear