I in no degree participate in the poignant savour of his scheme?
Such questionings set me flushing in deadly chills. My brain was weak,
my heart exhausted, my body seemed truthful perforce and confessed on
the rack. I could not deny that I had partly, insensibly clung to the
vain glitter of hereditary distinction, my father's pitfall; taking it
for a substantial foothold, when a young man of wit and sensibility and,
mark you, true pride, would have made it his first care to trample
that under heel. Excellent is pride; but oh! be sure of its foundations
before you go on building monument high. I know nothing to equal the
anguish of an examination of the basis of one's pride that discovers
it not solidly fixed; an imposing, self-imposing structure, piled upon
empty cellarage. It will inevitably, like a tree striking bad soil,
betray itself at the top with time. And the anguish I speak of will be
the sole healthy sign about you. Whether in the middle of life it is
adviseable to descend the pedestal altogether, I dare not say. Few take
the precaution to build a flight of steps inside--it is not a labour
to be proud of; fewer like to let themselves down in the public eye--it
amounts to a castigation; you must, I fear, remain up there, and accept
your chance in toppling over. But in any case, delude yourself as you
please, your lofty baldness will assuredly be seen with time. Meanwhile,
you cannot escape the internal intimations of your unsoundness. A man's
pride is the front and headpiece of his character, his soul's support or
snare. Look to it in youth. I have to thank the interminable hours on
my wretched sick-bed for a singularly beneficial investigation of the
ledger of my deeds and omissions and moral stock. Perhaps it has already
struck you that one who takes the trouble to sit and write his history
for as large a world as he can obtain, and shape his style to harmonize
with every development of his nature, can no longer have much of the
hard grain of pride in him. A proud puppet-showman blowing into
Pandaean pipes is an inconceivable object, except to those who judge of
characteristics from posture.

It began to be observed by others that my father was not the most
comforting of nurses to me. My landlady brought a young girl up to my
room, and introduced her under the name of Lieschen, saying that she had
for a long time been interested in me, and had been diligent in calling
to inquire for news of my condition. Comm