you are. That's me!

As a little girl I would prefer a hobgoblin I couldn't see, to a real
doll stuffed with the best sawdust. If there happened to be any
day-dreams about, visions or reveries, I would play hostess and be well
amused; but fend me from accounts, from business men, and from all the
things you catch, such as trains and influenza. Hateful practical
affairs have to be faced, but I rush them to get through quick.

Have you noticed that artists who vend feelings as a grocer sells sugar,
are always accused of being callous? I sent David with his nurse to stay
with Father Jared, so mother called me a cold-blooded wretch. I
abandoned my part at the opera to a weird ravening female who can't
sing, so my manager called me an atheist. My maids had to pack and run
to escape storage with the furniture at the "Pecking and Tootham
Emporiums"; my little home passed to a gentleman with mourning nails,
diamonds, and a lisp; my bits and scraps of stock were sold and the
proceeds banked with the Hudson's Bay Company. Then came casual
farewells to baby and Father Jared, and, just as the train pulled out,
the district nurse threw a bunch of violets. So I broke down and howled,
wondering damply why. Even then I longed for my dear wilderness where
every wind blows clean, for the glamour of an austere land braving the
naked eternities, the heart of a lonely man who dared to do his duty,
all, all that was real and great in life, calling me, calling me home.

The keenest pleasure which ever money gave me came when Billy and I
helped in the drafting of a cable order from the Hudson's Bay Company in
London to that bland magnifico who manages their branch palace at
Vancouver. One always feels that if one happened to want a Paris hat, a
bag of nuts, and a monkey, this Vancouver potentate would make a parcel
of them without the slightest fear of their getting mixed. As to
surprising the company, one might as well tickle the Alps. So here is
the telegram:--

"Provide three sleighs, each with two horses; engage two reliable
bush teamsters; six months' guaranteed bonus for secrecy and
fidelity.

"Referring to previous requirements of Jesse Smith, load No. 1
sleigh to capacity with provisions, luxuries, ammunition, books,
consigned to him via bush trail from 59 Mile House, Cariboo Road.
Referring to Captain Taylor's past requirements and present
sickness, load No. 2 sleigh with stores invalid com