avorite with the squire, who was one of those rollicking
"boys" of the old school, who let any one that chance threw in his way
bring him his boots, or his hot water for shaving, or brush his coat,
whenever it was brushed. The squire, you see, scorned the attentions of
a regular valet. But Andy knew a great deal more about horses than about
the duties of a valet. One morning he came to his master's room with hot
water and tapped at the door.

"Who's that?" said the squire, who had just risen.

"It's me, sir."

"Oh, Andy! Come in."

"Here's the hot water, sir," said Andy, bearing an enormous tin can.

"Why, what brings that enormous tin can here? You might as well bring
the stable-bucket."

"I beg your pardon, sir," said Andy, retreating. In two minutes more
Andy came back, and, tapping at the door, put in his head cautiously.

HOW ANDY BROUGHT HIS MASTER'S
HOT WATER IN THE MORNING

"The maids in the kitchen, your honor, say there's not so much hot water
ready."

"Did I not see it a moment since in your hand?"

"Yes, sir; but that's not nigh the full o' the stable-bucket."

"Go along, you stupid thief, and get me some hot water directly."

"Will the can do, sir?"

"Ay, anything, so you make haste."

Off posted Andy, and back he came with the can.

"Where'll I put it, sir?"

"Throw this out," said the squire, handing Andy a jug containing some
cold water, meaning the jug to be replenished with the hot.

Andy took the jug, and the window of the room being open, he very
deliberately threw the jug out. The squire stared with wonder, and at
last said:

"What did you do that for?"

"Sure, you _towld_ me to throw it out, sir."

"Go out of this, you thick-headed villain," said the squire, throwing
his boots at Andy's head; whereupon Andy retreated, and, like all stupid
people, thought himself a very ill-used person.

WHAT HAPPENED WHEN ANDY
OPENED A BOTTLE OF SODA AT
THE DINNER

Andy was soon the laughing-stock of the household. When, for example, he
first saw silver forks he declared that "he had never seen a silver
spoon split that way before." When told to "cut the cord" of a
soda-water bottle on one occasion when the squire was entertaining a
number of guests at dinner, he "did as he was desired."

He happened at that time to hold the bottle on the level with the
candles that shed light over the festive board from a large silver
branch, and the moment he made the incision, bang went t