ender instead of directly
discountenancing him.

There are a few broad, common-sense rules which, when followed, will
enable any officer to play his part more effectively in the counseling
of men.

Privacy is requisite and the interview should not be held at an
hour when interruptions are likely.

A listless manner spoils everything, diminishes the force of
reason and discourages confidence.

To put the man at ease immediately by some personal gesture is
more important than observing forms.

Thereafter the situation is best served by relaxation of bearing
rather than by tension.

All excess of expression is a failing, but above all in the man to
whom another looks for guidance.

To listen well is the prelude toward pondering carefully and
speaking wisely.

No counsel is worthy that has any lower aim than one's own ideals
of self-respect.

Early enough is well; quickly done can be quickly undone.

To refuse with kindness is more winning than to acquiesce
ungraciously.

To note another man's mood, and to become congenial to it, is the
surest way to engage his confidence.

Decisions which are wholly of the heart and not of the mind will
ultimately do hurt to both places.

No man will talk freely if met by silence, but an intelligent
question encourages frankness above all else.

When one man loses possession of himself it is the more reason
that the other should tighten his reserve.

Affectation in one's own manner gives the lie to one's own credit
and destroys it with others.

To express pity for a man does not serve to restore him and put
him above pity.

When a man is so burdened by a personal problem that it shuts out
all else, he must be led to something else.

Imprudent tactics can undo the wisest strategy.

While these dispositions have particular value in relation to the
counseling of one's subordinates, they also have some application to
any situation in which men work and commune together. Men at any level
do not mistake the touch of sincerity, nor fail to mark as unworthy of
trust the man who pays only a superficial regard to a matter which
they deem important.

For the officer already burdened with other duties, counseling may
seem like a waste of time, and an activity that more properly belongs
to the chaplain. The wise and understanding "padre" may sometim