dge.

So far her share in the conversation had been confined to the pleasant
smile which was apparently her chief form of expression. Nobody talked
very much when Ukridge was present. She sat on the edge of the
armchair, looking very small and quiet. I was conscious of feeling a
benevolent pity for her. If I had been a girl, I would have preferred
to marry a volcano. A little of Ukridge, as his former head master had
once said in a moody, reflective voice, went a very long way. "You and
Stanley have known each other a long time, haven't you?" said the
object of my commiseration, breaking the silence.

"Yes. Oh, yes. Several years. We were masters at the same school."

Mrs. Ukridge leaned forward with round, shining eyes.

"Really? Oh, how nice!" she said ecstatically.

Not yet, to judge from her expression and the tone of her voice, had
she found any disadvantages attached to the arduous position of being
Mrs. Stanley Ukridge.

"He's a wonderfully versatile man," I said.

"I believe he could do anything."

"He'd have a jolly good try!"

"Have you ever kept fowls?" asked Mrs. Ukridge, with apparent
irrelevance.

I had not. She looked disappointed.

"I was hoping you might have had some experience. Stanley, of course,
can turn his hand to anything; but I think experience is rather a good
thing, don't you?"

"Yes. But ..."

"I have bought a shilling book called 'Fowls and All About Them,' and
this week's copy of C.A.C."

"C.A.C.?"

"_Chiefly About Chickens_. It's a paper, you know. But it's all rather
hard to understand. You see, we ... but here is Stanley. He will
explain the whole thing."

"Well, Garny, old horse," said Ukridge, re-entering the room after
another energetic passage of the stairs. "Years since I saw you. Still
buzzing along?"

"Still, so to speak, buzzing," I assented.

"I was reading your last book the other day."

"Yes?" I said, gratified. "How did you like it?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, laddie, I didn't get beyond the third page,
because the scurvy knave at the bookstall said he wasn't running a free
library, and in one way and another there was a certain amount of
unpleasantness. Still, it seemed bright and interesting up to page
three. But let's settle down and talk business. I've got a scheme for
you, Garny old man. Yessir, the idea of a thousand years. Now listen to
me for a moment. Let me get a word in edgeways."

He sat down on the table, and dragged up a chair as a