of hot wind and dust. I no longer seemed to find refuge in my
work. I was unhappy at home. After walking for many years in confidence
and security along what appeared to be a certain path, I had suddenly
come out into a vague country in which it was becoming more and more
difficult to recognize landmarks. I did not like to confess this; and
yet I heard within me occasional whispers. Could it be that I, Hugh
Paret, who had always been so positive, had made a mess of my life?
There were moments when the pattern of it appeared to have fallen apart,
resolved itself into pieces that refused to fit into each other.
Of course my relationship with Nancy had something to do with this....
One evening late in the spring, after dinner, Maude came into the
library.
"Are you busy, Hugh?" she asked.
I put down my newspapers.
"Because," she went on, as she took a chair near the table where I was
writing, "I wanted to tell you that I have decided to go to Europe, and
take the children."
"To Europe!" I exclaimed. The significance of the announcement failed at
once to register in my brain, but I was aware of a shock.
"Yes."
"When?" I asked.
"Right away. The end of this month."
"For the summer?"
"I haven't decided how long I shall stay."
I stared at her in bewilderment. In contrast to the agitation I felt
rising within me, she was extraordinarily calm, unbelievably so.
"But where do you intend to go in Europe?"
"I shall go to London for a month or so, and after that to some quiet
place in France, probably at the sea, where the children can learn
French and German. After that, I have no plans."
"But--you talk as if you might stay indefinitely."
"I haven't decided," she repeated.
"But why--why are you doing this?"
I would have recalled the words as soon as I had spoken them. There
was the slightest unsteadiness in her voice as she replied:--"Is it
necessary to go into that, Hugh? Wouldn't it be useless as well as a
little painful? Surely, going to Europe without one's husband is not an
unusual thing in these days. Let it just be understood that I want to
go, that the children have arrived at an age when it will do them good."
I got up and began to walk up and down the room, while she watched me
with a silent calm which was incomprehensible. In vain I summoned my
faculties to meet it.
I had not thought her capable of such initiative.
"I can't see why you want to leave me," I said at last, though
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