said. But she continued to gaze at me, her lips
parted, her eyes questioning.

"Why is it," she demanded, "that after all these centuries of certainty
we should have to start out to find him again? Why is it when something
happens like--like this, that we should suddenly be torn with doubts
about him, when we have lived the best part of our lives without so much
as thinking of him?"

"Why should you have qualms?" I said. "Isn't this enough? and doesn't it
promise--all?"

"I don't know. They're not qualms--in the old sense." She smiled down
at me a little tearfully. "Hugh, do you remember when we used to go to
Sunday-school at Dr. Pound's church, and Mrs. Ewan taught us? I really
believed something then--that Moses brought down the ten commandments of
God from the mountain, all written out definitely for ever and ever. And
I used to think of marriage" (I felt a sharp twinge), "of marriage as
something sacred and inviolable,--something ordained by God himself. It
ought to be so--oughtn't it? That is the ideal."

"Yes--but aren't you confusing--?" I began.

"I am confusing and confused. I shouldn't be--I shouldn't care if there
weren't something in you, in me, in our--friendship, something I can't
explain, something that shines still through the fog and the smoke in
which we have lived our lives--something which, I think, we saw clearer
as children. We have lost it in our hasty groping. Oh, Hugh, I couldn't
bear to think that we should never find it! that it doesn't really
exist! Because I seem to feel it. But can we find it this way, my dear?"
Her hand tightened on mine.

"But if the force drawing us together, that has always drawn us
together, is God?" I objected.

"I asked you," she said. "The time must come when you must answer, Hugh.
It may be too late, but you must answer."

"I believe in taking life in my own hands," I said.

"It ought to be life," said Nancy. "It--it might have been life.... It
is only when a moment, a moment like this comes that the quality of what
we have lived seems so tarnished, that the atmosphere which we ourselves
have helped to make is so sordid. When I think of the intrigues, and
divorces, the self-indulgences,--when I think of my own marriage--" her
voice caught. "How are we going to better it, Hugh, this way? Am I to
get that part of you I love, and are you to get what you crave in me?
Can we just seize happiness? Will it not elude us just as much as though
we believed firmly