ives. Things did not prosper so well with me
unfortunately. I never was like the others, and my good mother had a
great deal of trouble with me. Perhaps she'd have been more successful
in teaching me if she'd shown me more love, but though possessing the
kindest heart in the world, she was always cold, stern and formal to
me, and as my father only spoiled me the more, you can imagine what
sort of training I received. I once heard it whispered that I was not
my mother's child. But although in such a small place nothing remains a
secret, and everybody knows his neighbors' business by heart, I never
discovered what was meant by the hasty words, and almost believe it was
only said in explanation of my mother's coldness, which was noticed
even by strangers. Perhaps she was jealous of the love my father
lavished upon me; for her aversion increased with years, in exact
proportion as I grew prettier and my father petted me more. Besides,
none of my sisters were like me. You ought to have known my father, in
order to be able to understand and forgive him for idolizing me. When a
very young man, he had gone through the best dancing school in Paris,
and the impressions made by the last brilliant days of the Empire never
left him. He always wore pumps and a white cravat, and when he felt
particularly happy, told us tales of Paris, the entertainments he had
witnessed at court--of course only from a corner of the gallery--the
duchesses and marquises to whom he had given lessons, their beauty,
grace, and the luxury that surrounded them, concluding usually with a
heavy sigh, as he looked around our miserable room: '_Ils sont passes,
ces jours de fete!_"

"This always affected my mother unpleasantly, and my sisters listened
to these constantly repeated tales without any special pleasure. They
had very little imagination, and were completely absorbed in the petty
cares and joys of the present; but these fairy like descriptions so
filled my mind, that the wretched reality of my life became more and
more distasteful to me. I dreamed of nothing but magnificence and
splendor, a luxurious existence without any cares, and of kings and
princes paying court to me. I gave grand names to my dolls, constantly
practiced speaking French, which my father approved, and when one day
at dinner, the conversation turned upon what each of us wanted to
become. I, precocious little ten-year-older, exclaimed: 'I will be a
duchess!'

"My mother angrily reprov