pportunity. He
dare not refuse to listen, for his experience teaches him that his
hostess will find a way to punish him for his unfeeling conduct. It is
of no use to change his quarters, for he may fare worse in this respect
at the next place. And so he submits, and grows peevish and fretful, and
even bald and gray over the woes of his tormentor. He consoles himself
with one thought--in the next world landladies cease from troubling and
boarding-houses do not exist.

All boarding-houses begin to fill up for the winter about the first of
October. Few of the proprietors have any trouble in filling their
establishments, as there is generally a rush of strangers to the city at
that time. The majority of boarders change their quarters every fall, if
they do not do so oftener. At first, the table is well supplied with
good fare, the attendance is excellent, and the proprietress as obliging
as one can wish. This continues until the house is full, and the guests
have made arrangements which would render a removal inconvenient. Then a
change comes over the establishment. The attendance becomes inferior.
The landlady cannot afford to keep so many servants, and the best in the
house are discharged. The fare becomes poor and scanty, and there begin
to appear dishes upon which the landlady has exercised an amount of
ingenuity which is astounding. They are fearfully and wonderfully
compounded, and it is best to ask no questions about them. The landlady
keeps a keen watch over the table at such times; and woe to him who
slights or turns up his nose at these dishes. She is sorry Mr. X---'s
appetite is so delicate; but really her prices of board do not permit her
to rival Delmonico or the Fifth Avenue Hotel in her table. Mr. P---, who
was worth his millions, and who boarded with her for ten years, was very
fond of that dish, and Mr. P--- was a regular _bon vivant_, if there ever
was one. Hang your head, friend X---, mutter some incoherent excuse,
gulp down your fair share of the dish in question--and fast the next time
it makes its appearance at the table.

[Picture: UNION SQUARE.]

The landlady has shrewdly calculated the chances of retaining her
boarders. She knows that few care to or can change in the middle of the
season, when all the other houses are full; and that they will hang on to
her establishment until the spring. If they do not come back the next
fall, others will, and as the pop