one. (_Brings paper from pocket. Reads._)
"What is Cheezo? Go where you may, speak with whom you will, the same
question confronts you. Cheezo is the great new----"

SLADDER: No, Splurge. Cut that question bit. We must have no admission
on our part that there's anyone who doesn't know what Cheezo is. Cut it.

SPLURGE: You're quite right, sir; you're quite right. That's a weak bit.
I'll cut it. (_He scratches it out. Reads._) "Cheezo is the great new
food. It builds up body and brain."

SLADDER: That's good.

SPLURGE: "There is a hundred times more lactic fluid in an ounce of
Cheezo than in a gallon of milk."

SLADDER: What's lactic fluid, Splurge?

SPLURGE: I don't know, sir, but it's good stuff all right. It's the
right thing to have in it. It's a good man that I got to write this.

SLADDER: All right. Go on.

SPLURGE: "Cheezo makes darling baby grow."

SLADDER: Good. Very good. Very good indeed, Splurge.

SPLURGE: Yes, I think that catches them, sir.

SLADDER: Go on.

SPLURGE: "Cheezo. The only food."

SLADDER: "The only food"? I don't like that.

SPLURGE: It will go down all right, sir, so long as the posters are big
enough.

SLADDER: Go down all right! I wasn't fool enough to suppose that it
wouldn't go _down_ all right. What are posters for if the public doesn't
believe them? Of course it will go _down_ all right.

SPLURGE: O, I beg your pardon, sir. Then what don't you quite like about
it?

SLADDER: I might invent another food one of these days, and then where
should we be?

SPLURGE: I hadn't thought of that, sir.

SLADDER: Out with it.

SPLURGE: (_Scratches with pencil_). "Cheezo is made out of the purest
milk from purest English cows."

SLADDER: Y-e-s, y-e-s. I don't say you're wrong. I don't say you're
exactly wrong. But in business, Splurge, you want to keep more to
generalities. Talk about the bonds that bind the Empire, talk about the
Union Jack, talk by all means about the purity of the English cow; but
definite statements you know, definite statements----

SPLURGE: O, yes, I know, sir; but the police never interfere with
anything one puts on a poster. It would be bad for business, a jury
would never convict, and----

SLADDER: I didn't say they would; but if some interfering ass were to
write to the papers to say that Cheezo wasn't made from milk, we should
have to go to the expense of buying a dozen cows, and photographing
them, and one thing and another. (_He gets up and goe