e door._)

SLADDER: The battle of Waterloo was won on the playing fields of some
damned place. A million of money will be won or lost in this house in
five minutes.

SPLURGE: In this house, sir?

SLADDER: Yes, in Ermyntrude's sitting-room. Send for her.

SPLURGE: Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Miss Sladder! Miss Sladder!

ERMYNTRUDE (_off_): Yes, Mr. Splurge.

SPLURGE: Would you come to the study, miss, Mr. Sladder wants to speak
to you.

ERMYNTRUDE: O, yes, Mr. Splurge.

SLADDER: The test! The test!

[_Re-enter_ SPLURGE.

SPLURGE: Miss Sladder is coming, sir.

SLADDER: The test!

[_Enter_ ERMYNTRUDE.

ERMYNTRUDE: What is it, father?

SLADDER: How are your white mice, child?

ERMYNTRUDE: Quite well, father, both of them.

Sladder (_draws a box from his pocket, takes out a little bit of
cheese_): Give them that, Ermyntrude.

ERMYNTRUDE: That, father. What is it?

SLADDER: Cheese.

ERMYNTRUDE: May I have a bit?

SLADDER: No, don't touch it!

ERMYNTRUDE: Very well, father.

SLADDER: If they eat it, you shall have----

ERMYNTRUDE: What, father?

SLADDER: Anything, everything. Only go and give them the cheese.

ERMYNTRUDE: All right, father.

[_She moves to the door R., she looks round, then goes out by the French
window instead._

SLADDER: Why are you going that way, child?

ERMYNTRUDE: O--er--I thought it would be nice to go round over the lawn,
father. I can get in by the drawing-room.

SLADDER: O, very well. Be quick, dear.

ERMYNTRUDE: All right, father.

[_The magnet that has attracted_ ERMYNTRUDE _to the lawn now appears in
the form of_ MR. HIPPANTHIGH, _passing the window on his way to the
hall-door._ SLADDER _and_ SPLURGE _do not see him, having their backs to
the window._ ERMYNTRUDE _looks round now and then to be sure of this.
They hold hands longer than is laid down as necessary in books upon
etiquette under the head of visiting. She gives him a look of glad and
hopeful interrogation but he shakes his head solemnly, and passes
gravely on, as one whose errand is no cheerful duty. She looks after
him, then goes her way._

SLADDER: Well, Splurge, we can only wait. (_With emphasis._) If these
mice eat it----

SPLURGE: Yes, sir?

SLADDER: The public will eat it.

SPLURGE: Ah!

SLADDER: Any other business to-day?

SPLURGE: O, only the cook, sir. He's complaining about the vegetables,
sir. He says he's never been anywhere before where they didn't buy them.
We get them out of th