ime. You never had a tick on you did you Julie?
Well a dog with two sets of flees isn't any busier than said tick.
They ought to draft a lot of 'em into the engineers. They are the best
lil' trench diggers on earth. They always selects a place between your
shoulder blades where you can't reach 'em and dig in. The think-tank
of a tick is not large; but unless they have been shootin hop into
themselves, they can make a guy feel as small as a bar of soap after a
hard days washin. Yours till the kaiser's mustash droops,

BARNEY.

P.S. Skinny sez this means "poor simp" but lissen, derie, fer you it
means pretty sweet.

[Illustration: "Them ticks is the best lil' trench diggers in the
army."]

Friday the thirteenth.

Dere Julie:

A bugler is jest as popular round this camp in the a.m. as a roman
nose in Russia. If "yours truly" ever gets a large bunch of the mazuma
I'm gonna hire a bugler to blow the revelee every morning at 6 under
my window so I can tell him to go to H----. Skinny sed a Jane he asked
to marry him wunce told him to go to the same place; she didn't jest
zactly tell in them words, but sed to go ask her paw. Now Skinny
knowed her "old" man was dead, he also knowed what kind of a life
he'd lead, so Skinny was wise to what she ment when she piped "Ask
dad." If she'd told me that same I would have thought she was flashin
a spiel for Sweet Caps. Skinny says that's repartee, but I think
its RAP-artee. Speakin of Russia, I see by the papers that a new
revolution has busted out there. That God forsaken country reminds me
of a fly wheel on a automobeel--2000 revolutions per minute.

I had a grate peece of luck this a.m. I had three portions of bacon
for breakfast which same happed on account of my bein seated between
a young Jewish feller on one side, and a Catholic feller on the other.
It bein Friday--nuff sed. Don't ever try to tell me again that Friday
the thirteenth is unlucky.

If I was loose from the army, I could make a million dollars in the
umbrella business; its stopped pouring now, but comin in bucket fulls,
and we are looking fur orders from Washington any day to begin to
build a ark.

Last nite after taps me and Skinny wuz arguin about who wuz to blame
for this war. Confidentially Julie, I think it was Theo. Roosevelt. Do
you remember Julie, about ten years ago when Theo. was on a trip round
the world, he called on Bill the Twicer and Bill got out his army and
peeraded them in Theo.'s ho