ve a confounded White Rabbit,
Sir! Idiotic, _I_ call it!

_The Curate_. Pardon me, Colonel KEMPTON; but if you object to the
Rabbit, I would not at all mind undertaking it myself--and you could
take my Monkey--

_The Colonel_. Thanks--but I won't deprive you. A Rabbit is quite
responsibility enough for me!

_The Curate_ (_to himself, disappointed_). He's afraid of a poor
harmless Monkey--and he an Army man, too! But I _don't_ see why _I_--

_Miss Gussie Grissell_. Oh, Mr. HEADNOTE, _isn't_ it ridiculous!
They've given me a Kitten! It makes me feel too absurdly young!

_The Curate_ (_eagerly_). If you would prefer a--a more appropriate
animal, there's a Monkey, which I am sure--(_To himself, as Miss
G. turns away indignantly_). This Monkey doesn't seem very
popular--there must be _someone_ here who--I'll try the American
Lady--they are generally eccentric. (_To Mrs. HEBER K. BANGS._) I hope
Fortune has been kind to you, Mrs. BANGS?

_Mrs. Bangs_. Well, I don't know; there _are_ quadrupeds that can trot
faster over the measured mile than a Tortoise, and that's _my_ animal.

_The Curate_ (_with sympathy_). Dear me! That is a trial, indeed, for
you! But if you would prefer something rather more exciting, I should
be most happy, I'm sure, to exchange my Monkey--

_Dick Gatling_ (_bustling up_). Hallo, what's that? No, no, Mrs.
BANGS--be true to your Tortoise. I tell you he's going to romp
in--AEsop's tip, don't you know? I've backed you to win or a place. I
say, what do you think _I_'ve drawn--the Mutton! Just my luck!

_The Curate_. DICK, just come this way a moment--I've a proposition
to make; it's occurred to me that the Monkey would feel more--more at
home with you, and, in short, I--

_Mr. Plumley Duff_ (_plaintively, to Miss CYNTHIA CHAFFERS_). I
shouldn't have minded any other animal--but to be paired off with a
Goose!

_Miss Chaffers_ (_consolingly_). You're better off than _I_ am, at all
events--I've got a Puppy!

_Mr. Duff_. Have you? (_After a pause--sentimentally_.) Happy Puppy!

_Miss C._ He'll be anything but a happy Puppy if he doesn't win.

_Mr. Duff_. Oh, but he's sure to. I know I would, if _I_ was your
Puppy!

_Miss C._ I'm not so sure of that. Don't they lodge objections, or
something, for boring?

_Mr. Fanshawe_. Can anybody inform me whether I'm expected to go and
catch my Peacock? Because I'll be hanged if--

_The Curate_. Oh, Miss STELLA, it's all right--Mr. GATLING thinks
that