ain arranger
Of a drive in your barouche;
And your Coachman, honest JOE too,
When approached thereon by JEAMES,
Doesn't say exactly "no," to
Such inviting little schemes.

JEAMES has doffed them "'orrid knee-things;"
Plush gives way to tweed and socks;
And a hamper with the tea-things,
Fills his place upon the box;
With MARIA, JANE, and HEMMA,
He is playing archest games,
And they're in the sweet dilemma,
Who shall make the most of JAMES.

Mr. COACHMAN smokes his pipe on
His accustomed throne of pride,
And, through driving, keeps an eye 'pon
All the revellers inside.
Mrs. COACHMAN there is seated;
Children twain are on her lapped,
Who alternately are treated,
And alternately are slapped.

While the painters haunt your mansion,
And you're "_H_up" "The _H_alps" or "Rhind,"
Your domestics find expansion
In diversions of the kind;
And on such a day as this is,
They will drink the health at Kew,
Of "The Master and the Missis,
And their bloomin' kerridge too!"

* * * * *

THE PALLIUM AND ARCHIEPISCOPAL OATH CONTROVERSY IN THE "TIMES."--No
wonder this is a very dry subject, when they've got such a strong
THURST-ON among them. Our advice, by way of moistening it, is, "Drop
it!"

* * * * *

"CLERGY FEES" (_see "Times" Correspondence_).--_Growl of the
Archiepiscopal Ogre & Co._:--

"_Fee_, fi, fo, fum!
I smell the coin of a Clergyman!
Hath he fat glebe, be he ill-fee'd, ill-fed,
I'll grab his fees to butter my bread!"

* * * * *

A NIGHTLY CHEVALIER.

Music-Hall Artists are not by any means "Fixed Stars." During the
evening they manage to accomplish the somewhat paradoxical-sounding
feat of shining in the same parts, yet in different places and at
different times, appearing everywhere with undiminished brilliancy.
The Student of the Music-Hall Planetary system, has only by
observation to ascertain the exact time and place of the appearance of
his favourite bright particular Star, and then to pay his money, take
his choice between sitting and standing, and like a true astronomer,
he will--glass in hand, a strong glass too,--await the great event of
the evening, calmly and contentedly.

If the Wirtuous Westender wandering down the Strand, after having
on some previous nights exhausted the Pavilion and t