my other servants depends.

SIR ROBERT.--I am aware of that, your Majesty; but as no one can hope to
please everybody, I will only answer that _one half_ shall be perfectly
satisfied.

THE QUEEN.--You have recently returned from Tamworth?

SIR ROBERT.--Yes, your Majesty.

THE QUEEN.--We will dispense with forms. At Tamworth, you have been
practising as a quack doctor?

SIR ROBERT.--Yes, madam; I was brought up to doctoring, and am a professor
of sleight-of-hand.

THE QUEEN.--What have you done in the latter art to entitle you to such a
distinction?

SIR ROBERT.--I have performed some very wonderful changes. When I was out
of place, I had opinions strongly opposed to Catholic emancipation; but
when I got into service I changed them in the course of a few days.

THE QUEEN.--I have heard that you boast of possessing a nostrum for the
restoration of the public good. What is it?

SIR ROBERT.--Am I to consider myself "as regularly called in?"

THE QUEEN.--That is a question I decline answering at present.

SIR ROBERT.--Then I regret that I must also remain silent.

THE QUEEN (_aside_).--The wily fox! (_aloud_)--Are you aware that great
distress exists in the country?

SIR ROBERT.--Oh, yes! I have heard that there are several families who
keep no man-servant, and that numerous clerks, weavers, and other
artisans, occupy second-floors.

THE QUEEN.--I have heard that the people are wanting bread.

SIR ROBERT.--Ha, ha! that was from the late premier, I suppose. He merely
forgot an adjective--it is _cheap_ bread that the people are clamouring
for.

THE QUEEN.--And why can they not have it?

SIR ROBERT.--I have consulted with the Duke of Richmond upon the subject,
and he says it is impossible.

THE QUEEN.--But why?

SIR ROBERT.--Wheat must be lower before bread can be cheaper.

THE QUEEN.--Well!

SIR ROBERT.--And rents must be less if that is the case, and--

THE QUEEN.--Well!

SIR ROBERT.--And that the landowners won't agree to.

THE QUEEN.--Well!

SIR ROBERT.--And, then, I can't keep my place a day.

THE QUEEN.--Then the majority of my subjects are to be rendered miserable
for the advantage of the few?

SIR ROBERT.--That's the principle of all good governments. Besides, cheap
bread would be no benefit to the masses, for wages would be lower.

THE QUEEN.--Do you really believe such _would_ be the case?

SIR ROBERT.--Am I regularly called in?

THE QUEEN.--You evade a direct answer, I see. Gran