t unluckily the
customs at Boulogne.

"They left him cold. I threw myself on his mercy. He apologised, but
continued firm. The Boulogne boat drew in its gangway. I mentioned
this, and that, so to speak, I had burned my Boulogne gangway behind
me. I said I had just had an interview with Mr. Winston Churchill, and
that I felt sure the First Lord of the Admiralty would not approve of
my standing there arguing when I was threatened with influenza. He
acted as though he had never heard of the First Lord.

"At last he was called away. So I went into a deck cabin, and closed
and bolted the door. I remember that, and that I put a life preserver
over my feet, in case of a submarine, and my fur coat over the rest of
me, because of a chill. And that is all I do remember, until this
morning in a grey, rainy dawn I opened the door to find that we were
entering the harbour of Calais. If the officers of the boat were
surprised to see me emerge they concealed it. No doubt they knew that
with Calais under military law I could hardly slip through the fingers
of the police.

"This morning I have a mild attack of what the English call 'flu.' I
am still at the hotel in Calais. I have breakfasted to the extent of
hot coffee, have taken three different kinds of influenza remedies,
and am now waiting and aching, but at least I am in France.

"If the car from Dunkirk does not come for me to-day I shall be
deported to-night.

"Two torpedo boats are coaling in the harbor. They have two large
white letters which answer for their names. One is the BE; the other
is the ER. As they lie side by side these tall white letters spell
B-E-E-R.

"I have heard an amusing thing: that the English have built duplicates
of all their great battleships, building them of wood, guns and all,
over the hulls of other vessels; and that the Germans have done the
same thing! What would happen if one of the 'dummy' fleets met the
other? Would it be a battle of expletives? Would the German consonant
triumph over the English aspirate, and both ships go down in a sea of
language?

"The idea is, of course, to delude submarines into the belief that
they are sinking battleships, while the real dreadnoughts are
somewhere else--pure strategy, but amusing, except for the crews of
these sham war flotillas."

* * * * *

The French Ambassador in London had given me letters to the various
generals commanding the divisions of the French Army.