r a lecture."

"Whatever on?" asked Celia.

"Anything I like. The last person lectured on 'The Minor Satellites of
Jupiter,' and the one who comes after me is doing 'The Architecture of
the Byzantine Period,' so I can take something in between."

"Like 'Frostbites,'" said Celia helpfully. "But I don't quite understand.
Where is it, and why?"

"The Blanktown Literary and Philosophical Society ask me to lecture to
them at Blanktown. The man who was coming is ill."

"But why _you_ particularly?"

"One comes down to me in the end," I said modestly.

"I expect it's because of my electric lights. Do they give you any money
for it?"

"They ask me to name my fee."

"Then say a thousand pounds, and lecture on the need for more electric
light. Fancy if I got six per cent!"

"This is a very sordid conversation," I said. "If I agree to lecture
at all, it will be simply because I feel that I have a message to
deliver ... I will now retire into the library and consider what that
message is to be."

I placed the encyclopaedia handy and sat down at my desk. I had already
grasped the fact that the title of my discourse was the important thing.
In the list of the Society's lectures sent to me there was hardly one
whose title did not impress the imagination in advance. I must be equally
impressive ...

After a little thought I began to write.

"WASPS AND THEIR YOUNG

"_Lecture delivered before the Blanktown Literary and Philosophical
Society, Tuesday, December 8th._

"_Ladies and Gentlemen_--"

"Well," said Celia, drifting in, "how's it going?"

I showed her how far I had got.

"I thought you always began, 'My Lord Mayor, Ladies and Gentlemen,'" she
said.

"Only if the Lord Mayor's there."

"But how will you know?"

"Yes, that's rather awkward. I shall have to ask the Secretary
beforehand."

I began again.

"WASPS AND THEIR YOUNG

"_Lecture delivered, etc_....

"_My Lord Mayor, my Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen_--"

It looked much better.

"What about Baronets?" said Celia. "There's sure to be lots."

"Yes, this is going to be difficult. I shall have to have a long talk
with the Secretary ... How's this?--'My Lord Mayor, Lords, Baronets,
Ladies and Gentlemen and Sundries.' That's got in everybody."

"That's all right. And I wanted to ask you: Have you got any lantern
slides?"

"They're not necessary."

"But they're much more fun. Perhaps they'll have some old ones of
Vesuvius you can work in. Well