nd all just to
bring in an extra bit of money to enable their parents, like you, to
laze and loaf at home, and, maybe, spend their hardly-earned wage on
drink. However, you'll have to dock it, Mr. SIKES.

_Typical British Father_. Well, I call it downright bloomin' robbery.
It's more. It's a invasion of the sacred rights of the British
working man's domestic home. It's a infringement of the liberty of the
subject, that's wot it is. It's a teaching the young 'uns rebellion
against their natural protectors. It's a bloomin' shame!

[Government Inspector _leads them off delighted_. Typical
British Father _left swearing_.

* * * * *

UNSELFISH HELP BY SMILES.--"Dr. QUAIN's advice to doctors," says
Mr. JAMES PAYN in the _Illustrated London News_, "always 'to look
cheerful,' ought to be written in letters of gold." So it is: in
notes, or cheques. When the eminent novelist has to send for Dr.
QUAIN, the latter will beam on him, and tell him a good story. The
labour he delights in will "physic PAYN."

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE EGOISM OF GENIUS.

_Fond Mother_. "DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE THE EVENING PAPERS, MORTIMER?"

_Minimus Poet_. "WHY, IS THERE ANYTHING ABOUT _ME_ IN THEM?"

_Fond Mother_. "NOT THAT I KNOW OF, DARLING."

_Minimus Poet_ (_pettishly_). "GOOD HEAVENS, MOTHER, THEN WHAT ON
EARTH SHOULD I WANT TO _SEE_ THEM FOR?"]

* * * * *

POLITICAL ASIDES;

OR, TRUTH IN PARENTHESES.

(_VERY FREELY ADAPTED FROM_ THOMAS HOOD.)

_Fond Mother_. I really take it vastly kind,
This visit, my dear creature!
A family likeness here you'll find.
(Like _hers_? Not in one feature!)

_Friendly Visitor_. Only too happy, I am sure,
To see the little darling,
Our family friendships _are_ so pure!
(They find effect in snarling.)

_Fond Mother_. Well, dear, with _your_ experience,
Your aid must be of value.
You've not yet given its help immense.
(Nor, if I know it, _shall_ you!)

_Friendly Visitor_. Ah! Good Nurse G-SCH-N, is she out,
That you the babe are dandling?
Sweet-tempered child and strong, no doubt!
(The brat wants careful handling.)

_Fond Mother_. G-SCH-N and D-KE are both at hand,
But I'm so proud to show it.
The weakness _you_ will understand
(Envious, and knows I know it!)

_Friendly Visitor_. Mothers must be as vigilant